The Mystery of Hope
by Tare-Bear
Summary: A following book to my series Weaponless. Years after the end of the rebellion the new generation strains to begin and build in new ways. Damien a boy from from District 4, has fallen for a girl named Hope. No one knows much about the mysterious girl from District 8, and when he suddenly wants to know more, she's not prepared on how to react. *Hiatus!
1. She's Gone

Chapter 1- "She's Gone"

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><p>Today was no different then the others. It was a normal Thursday, nearly the weekend. My mother woke me up to get ready for school- as always- and now I sat in my first period class. Watching the clock tick. My friends laughing and chatting about me.<p>

I was still half asleep, I yawned and rubbed my eyes constantly. While never losing sight of the door, because like ever morning... I was waiting.

I was waiting to join in the loudness of my friends, I was waiting to start my morning properly... I was waiting for her.

Just to walk in though. I haven't the courage to talk to her, not many guys do- so don't go calling _me_ a sissy. She would come gliding in any second, with the usual entourage of girls at her side. Looking adorable and glowing.

I was unconcerned as I waited, propping my face up on my hand. I tried not to stare a the doorway, but my eyes flickering from the desk top to the threshold wasn't any less subtle.

My hair was mess though wasn't it? I quickly took a moment to lay flat the disobedient strands- but it was no use. My hair was a useless messy mop of blonde no matter what I tried. I hear one of my friends call me over to their desk, but I shrug them off.

She'll be here any minute.

I sadly have to admit I know her schedule. She gets off the train here in the morning, around seven thirty, walks to town square- talks to the owner of the flower shop. Who I just so recently found out is her 'sister', Aven. That part I didn't seek out, my friend Cassandra told me. Her and Hope used to go to the same school in District 8, before it was shut down. Like everyone else's, the exact same thing happened to mine in District 4.

The new government are making a lot of changes now. They started with the laws, and now with education. They want us all to get the proper knowledge, so they canceled out all those old schools- and now there's this new, huge one (I still get lost in it). Every kid in every District was thrown together, a small town was built around it, since they placed it in an area of lands that used to be the wilds. It was a fairly close distance to all the Districts, but they still created a train system for those further away few. Like District 12, District 8, and the Capitol.

Mine was a necessary bus ride there and back, not a train. I kind of wish I did though. Cause then I could try to sit by Hope or something, maybe I'd get a word in. I'd probably chicken out, end up blabbering like a fool, getting lost in her bright eyes.

Better safe then sorry though, I'll stick with the bus.

"Damien?" I look up at Mike. He towered over me when I was sitting, probably a nice change to him. Since I was about six eight, and he would always grumble about the way I dwarfed everyone.

"Yeah?" I say.

"Do you remember last week, about that fishing trip? I asked my mom and she said no. She doesn't want me visiting other Districts." He was clearly agitated about it. "Isn't the whole point about us all being put together to get people to migrate around? She just so stuck in the old days, before the rebellion. Doesn't want me to leave nice and safe District 11."

He sinks down into the desk on my right, and I muster him a small smile of sympathy- while my eyes flickered to the doorway and then the clock. There was only four more minutes before the bell would ring. Where was she?

I tried to focus my attention back on Mike though. We have been planning this fishing trip for awhile, him and my other friends, Levi and Mitch, who were both from District 11 too. They had wanted to go for the longest time. They hear and learn about the ocean in class and all they've ever known in the dry and crop filled fields of District 11, with nothing as blue and shimmering as the waters around my home.

I told them I'd take them out. My family still possessed a boat that I would take out sometimes. My mother didn't mind much, she worked at a local store- and my father was retired. Something he never lacks to relish in, he lectures me all the time.

I could see him now, sitting in his overlarge chair in the middle of our living room, a book laying in his lap, and a finger pointing at my chest. 'Now don't you forget to be thankful, young man. You know how many lives were given for yours? What you have is freedom, savor it.' The words were there constantly nagging at my mind- a weight I think every ones parents put on them.

Enjoy it, your lucky, your special. We know... must you make us feel bad. When we look at them and see the wrinkles, the bags still underlying their eyes from those sleepless work filled nights. The slowly fading hate for something that is no longer in existence. That healing torment in the back of their eyes.

Yet they scold us for frowning. They admonish a sigh or show of anything but happiness.

"Damien!" Snaps Mike- I blink and then focus on him.

"Sorry, still half asleep." A yawn worked its way out of my mouth as proof. "That really sucks. Do you think your dad would let you come? I'll let you take home the fish, bride them with it or something. Tell 'em your learning a new trade."

"I already tried all that!" Mike insisted. "Mitch's parents won't let him go either. Levi's will, but that's only because he told them that he was going on a school field trip! What is with our parents?"

I must be extremely distract-able this morning, because just as he grumbled out those words a gang of girls came into the room. Their giggles alerted me first, then as they walked passed I caught their sweet scent. Was it just me? Or do girls always smell extremely nice?

Anyway, I was more distracted by a different fact.

She's not with them.

There was that brunette though, the one she was always hanging around. Hope wasn't with her now. I glanced at the clock again and the second I do the bell blares to life. People fall into their seats, the voices slowly falling to a hum.

Our teacher, Mr. Lark, who wore thin rimmed glasses, and whose head was now shining under the lights lined across the ceilings- began the attendance. His nose nearly brushing the paper on his clip board.

"Miss. Barbwash?"

"Here!"

"Mr. Barns?"

"Present!"

I waited for it. I stared at the doorway, leaning my torso over the top half of my desk. She had to be coming. She wouldn't skip, she's not the type... maybe she was running late. No. Probably not her- the train or something.

"Miss. Clarke?"

The classroom was silent. Mr. Lark lifted his gaze, his own face looked a bit perplexed. But then he shrugged and scribbled something down. Calling out the next name on the list.

Was something wrong? Had she gotten lost? I don't know how she could, she was so smart... Had she gotten hurt? I sat a little straighter at that thought. What if something _had _gone wrong! What if she fell, or slipped, broke her ankle- on some back road of District 8. (I had no idea what that place was like, but I heard there was only concrete and tall buildings.)

What if she was hidden behind one, calling out for help, dragging herself by her elbows...

Mike was giving me a funny look now. I realized I must have gone pale- forced a deep breath and fell slouching into my seat. Maybe I was being over dramatic. Maybe she got side tracked. Maybe some little old lady needed help and Hope couldn't resist herself...

Yeah that's probably it.

"Mr. Stark?"

"Here." I say. I cleared my throat because my voice sounded scratchy.

Only a bare minimum of five minutes has passed and attendance was finished. I still couldn't quite keep my eyes off the door way.

As the lesson started, about some sort of English concept, I couldn't find myself into it. Levi obediently took notes on the other side of the classroom, I spotted Mitch's head down on his arms (no doubt sleeping) and Mike was pretending to take notes, but he was really just doodling.

I leaned back a bit, trying to spot that brunette again. I can't remember her name, all I know is she is Hope's best friend. Did she looked worried? Or bored? I couldn't tell by that frown on her face. I narrowed my eyes to try and tell- did she know where Hope was?

Then the girls eyes flashed to mine, they are a startlingly bright blue, and I instantly averted my gaze to the teacher. I tried to fight any sort of embarrassment for having been caught staring. I hoped she didn't think I was admiring her... not that she's not pretty- some other guys say she's better looking then Hope. They're crazy though. I prefer Hope's cascading blond curls over this ones shorter, straighter brown hair.

Hazel was much more captivating then the blue. And still more... Hope had something about her. Something about the way she talked, the emotions in her face, and the graceful way she walked. The peace and stillness of her, the certainty, and the mystery she posed for us.

Not just me, no one knew much of her. Besides the general. The little bit of extra we know is that she lives in District 8 and that woman at the flower shop, looks nothing like her, but people claim her sister. Otherwise we don't know what she does when she's not with others, we don't know her family, or past. I find myself wanting to know a lot about her- I want her to tell me. And I want her to know _me_.

If only I knew what to say to her. I was too nervous to talk to her. My hands would get sweaty and my mouth would go dry, I just knew I'd embarrass myself. She would find me boring, or just weird. Pass me up like those other boys, but only with kind words and a sweet smile. Despite that it'd still sting.

I don't even think she knew I existed. She couldn't. I don't think- there was only this one time.. the first day at this school. I was lost, and this was two years ago, when we were both fifteen. I had run into her while wandering around. She wasn't lost though- and she helped me to my class. I felt meek then, I feel embarrassed about that now. Her helping me? When really I should have been the gentleman helping the young lady- who deserves nothing more then to be waited on.

From that day on I'd been keeping tabs on her. Which isn't hard. As everyone around here has been doing the same- not to my extent though. Those from her old school in District 8 shared what little they know of her, to us, from other Districts and with that they have us curious and just as captivated.

I glance up at the clock again and it showed I'd been sitting here for twenty minutes. And still Hope is gone.

Had a family member gotten hurt? Did she have family? Or did she just sleep in?

I couldn't find one good explanation and the fact that she wasn't here, consumed me. It was distracting to the point I was a little ashamed of my liking for this girl.

I count too much on her entrance of this room every morning. Maybe I should change that.

I was hoping silently that while I contemplate a way for that to happen, that she would come stumbling in. But it never happened and I watched the clock painstakingly tick away an hour of class. When the bell rang I rose from my chair, sadly.

Well this is stupid.

I follow Mike out into the halls, Mitch and Levi catching up behind us. Mike and Mitch were complaining about our canceled trip.

"Well maybe I could come to District 11 and talk to them- they could meet me." I suggest, halfheartedly. I don't know how much I would want to go to District 11..

"You sure?" Levi says. "It's really hot and muggy this time of year. The bus ride takes forever, and I don't know if it'll even work out. My mother hates outsiders."

We pause at our lockers now, I quickly open mine and Mitch adds. "Well we could show him the fields- don't know how amazing it'll be for you. Nothing like the ocean."

The thought wasn't anywhere near entertaining. But I shrug. "Well maybe I'm tried of water and beaches. I'll go if you want me to."

Guilty looks were shared around me and I knew they wanted me to come. But hated the lack of fun I'd have. I'd go anyway, anything to distract me. I mean, _where_ was she? Would she be showing up sometime later in the day? Could I hope for her face to emerge from the crowd any second?

I shook away the questions. "I'm going, guys. Can't stop me." I flash them a grin, closing the locker with a snap. "You're stuck with me for the weekend."

Three beaming faces look up at me. The only one that was close to mine, was Mitch's because he was six four and I was still slouching.

"You sure?" Mike asks.

"Defiantly." I state, giving them all a curt nod, as we started heading down the hall. "I'm coming. What bus am I taking?"

"B-11. We live on the lower part of the District, so not A-11." Levi answers.

I hum a sound of acknowledgment and then wave them on down the hall, slipping through the flow of people until I can emerge into my next classes door. There was only a few people in it already. None of them from District 4 or of my friends. I made sure to check the whole room though, in case Hope had shown up. Since we have the first three classes together, and the last three not.

None of the faces matched hers. But I spotted the brunette again- sitting with three other girls around her. They were talking quietly, she was smiling.. I couldn't stop myself.

Before I knew where I was heading, I was walking over to the group. The girl with red hair standing around, noticed me first, her green eyes were soft and she flashed me a huge smile- I ignored it and stood just before the brunette.

When she turned towards me, I clutched the books in my hand tighter.

"Hello..?" She says, her eyes blinking up at me in confusion. The other girls around us teetered over each other and whispering things. I tried not to let it bother me.

I could feel a heat creeping up my neck though. What was I doing? What was I going to ask? Why...

"Do I know you?" The brunette asks after my awkward moment of silence.

"No." I answer honestly. Feeling foolish already.

"Oh." She glances over to her friends then back to me. "Well.."

"Do you know where Hope is?" I finally sputter out. My voice catches at Hope's name, and I pray she missed it.

A show of a realization crosses her face and a soft laugh shakes her chest. "Oh, I should of known." Had she been getting a lot of people asking about Hope? "She called me this morning. Told me she was sick and wouldn't be coming today."

She's sick. Of course, how had I not thought of that one? How had I come up with... I shake that away since the girl was waiting for a response. "Not too sick right?" I ask, and then curse the wording.

She didn't seem to mind it and shook her head. "Nope, just a little cold. Be good as new tomorrow."

I nod, and then settle my thoughts some. "Okay, I was just... wondering." My eyes scaled to my desk in the back of the class. I wanted to leave now. The girls were all staring at me- with some look I don't like. "Thanks though.." I start to back away, and my feet shuffle around her desk when she shifts around and asks.

"What's you name? I'll tell her you'd asked about her."

I immediately shake my head. "Oh, no that's okay. I'll just.. see her tomorrow." There's no need for Hope to know I'm her stalker..

"Well maybe you want to come see her?" She offered next, flashing a bright smile. "Me and a few other friends are going to meet up with her later, to make sure she's okay. She'd be happy to see that other people missed her.."

"I can't go to District 8." I shot off immediately. I don't think that's a lie, my mother would let me... just I couldn't. To District 8? To Hope's.. house? Though it sounded like they were meeting up with her somewhere instead. She shouldn't leave her bed if she's sick..

Still same difference. I can't go.

"Oh.." The brunette murmurs, sitting back again. "Okay."

I rush to my seat, just before the bell rings. I felt my heart was ticking a bit too fast- and I hadn't even been talking to Hope herself. I pay even less attention in this class, spending a long time just scratching idle lines on my notebook. Strange how her missing one day of school turned my normal flow into whack.

Usually I'd be staring at the board, mirroring the words there. While my ears strained to listen to every helpful answer Hope gave to the teacher, who adores her. I'd watch her hand raise, long to hold it, and then move on with nothing more to it.

I'd leave this period to participate in one more with her, and then after that I'd wait for two glimpses of her at lunch and heading towards the train station at the end of the day. Then it's up to tomorrow- that scant few minutes before eight in to morning, to see her walk in.

That's all I ask for. To have her brighten my days with a distance. I don't think I would ever get her in my grasp though. Better men then me have tried and failed. She just wasn't the dating type. I've only ever dated one girl, Marsh, back when I still went to the school in District 4. Before I knew someone like Hope existed.

Marsh and I don't talk anymore. Our break up was brutal. She cheated on me, and I tried to rope her back in, charm her with my old ways- she just ended up using me until her new boyfriend got away clean. _She _charmed me into letting it slide, about not hurting him. I'm not usually violent.. but this guy stole a girl I thought myself in love with. He's lucky I realized it was all just hormones, and easily muffled feelings. He's about half my size, I could have made him a pulp...

I don't care for Marsh now. Well I mean I'm glad she's still... happy (whoring around). But romanticly.. I seem a bit hopeless with that now- since it's Hope I'm liking.

I know my friend Levi has a crush on Hope too. I hide it better then he does.. maybe not today. And I don't like to think I could win her over more then him. I can't know what she wants..

Wish I did though. It would be so much more simple. I don't think she's interested in love. I wish I knew the words to say to her to make her relax and talk to me. Not like the way she talks sweetly to everyone- I mean really talk. Let me in.. was it possible she had walls? I think so, walls she hides well with her charismatic air and inviting eyes.

Did she build them through the years? Or were they inherited? Had her childhood been one of suffering, and now she trusts terribly? Or am I just way off the point.. and what did the teacher just say?

"Mr. Stark, will you be going to your next period today?"

I glance up from my notebook, to find rows of empty desks in front of me- my math teacher standing at the head of them. Giving me a odd and amused look.

These are the moments that I really just wish to smack myself in the head.

"Umm.. er- yes, sir." Her eyes flash. "Ma'am! Yes, ma'am." I stumble from the desk, my foot gets stuck on the leg of the chair, I snatched the books off the top- before ripping it free.

"A little off today, Mr. Stark?" She asks, in a wilting tone- as I rush to the front of the room.

"Uh- yes. Still tired I think. I gotta-" I glance out at the slowing traffic in the hall. "-go."

She nods and I have to stride around the halls to my locker, grab my gym bag, and then run to the locker rooms. The bell rings while I'm half way there- god damn it. This will be my third tardy. I'll have to serve a detention for it.

My dad's gonna kill me. I'll be home late, and take the later bus. It'll be dark by that time. Will they keep me from going to District 11?

I rush into the gymnasium, straightening my shorts- running a quick hand through my hair. The strict coach-like teacher glares at me, his booming voice reaches my ears- demanding fifty push ups. I drop right there, outside the doorway. The other kids are outside already, running laps.

I pump up and down quickly, my hair blinds me a little- its agitating, I'm gonna have to cut it.

Once I've done fifty I jump back up- start at a jog towards the doors outside and then slip right into the running groups.

Mike's in my gym class- but he's way up front and I'm lagging today. I just barely jog, the more delicate girls are at my back. I hear them whisper through pants, and I catch my name in it.

The guy next to me, from District 1- I know because he wears those ridiculous labels. He's soaking up the fact that his name is being said also. He's not extremely fit, as obvious since we're in the back, but he's so arrogant I can feel it coming off him in waves.

His labels is on the necklace that bounces up and down against his chest. Others like tattoos- which most parents disprove of since they are a reminder of what the Capitol people used to do. Some have metal bracelets engraved, scarfs, and etc..

I don't have one. It's just their way of thinking they are better. As if they still pride themselves into being better then the other Districts. Some parents of the old 'Career' Districts like to encourage this thinking. People from my District sometimes do it. I don't like to though.

It's really hot today. The sun is beating down on my black T-shirt, I'm already sweating and I've only gone three laps. The guy next to me, stripped off his shirt. Not very impressive- I'd say. But the girls flutter and sprint to keep up with us.

I match his stride, because it keeps me going in pace. Not that I would like to talk to him. He keeps giving me this leering look- thinking he's better then me. Though I'm taller then him by at least five inches, and I know my own chest out muscles his.

I'm not baited into the fight. I keep my shirt on- for my own sake. When I finally pull myself out of the gutter, I push aside thoughts of Hope and out sprint all of them, finishing my laps up at a nice and even fourteen.

I get marked down for the tarty- I'm expecting a slip to arrive to me by the end of the day. The rest of the class was spent playing field soccer. I was voted goaly because of my height. But my team still lost, they didn't get how badly I could have messed up.. but really I just kept letting the girls score.

The rest of the day went by slowly. It was boring. I don't think I've had a more dual or off day then today. I received my detention slip at the end of my last period. Mitch negotiated with me that I should serve it tomorrow and they'll wait around for me until after so I can still go to there places for the weekend. That way my parents won't ever know.

I get to my locker as people are starting to fade away, the halls dying down. I'm shuffling through my papers, since ny bus would be here soon. Was it math homework or social studies that was due tomorrow? I can't remember- so I shove them both in the backpack. I slam the locker, twisting the dial- when I heard footsteps behind me.

I turn and spot that brunette heading my way, she departed from the group of girls that she was with earlier, waving them off with a smile. I was tempted to run. What did she want to say? 'Hi, hello- I just found out that crazy obsession you have for Hope. Get lost, she doesn't need you around.'

Something along those lines, probably. Or not, since she has to drop back her head all the way to meet my gaze- which really isn't intimidating. And she's smiling so brightly I'm afraid her face is going to split right in half.

"Your that kid, right?" She asks.

I shift my weight onto my other foot. "Maybe."

She laughs. Its high pitch and I'm tempted to flinch.

"No, I'm pretty sure its you."

I shrug and take a step, almost around her. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I really need to be going. If I miss my bus I'm stuck here for three hours waiting for the next one. I give her a apologetic smile. "My bus.."

"Oh yeah, sorry. I just wanted to make sure you're sure... you don't wanna come with us?"

Her stare is measuring me. I stare back. I'm sure I can't. I- I do want to see Hope. But at my nice and safe distance. I'm sure I would like to know she's alright. But I can't.

"I'm sure."

Her smile falters. "Damien is your name, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Is the lamest answer I came up with.

"I'm Noah." Her eyes narrow some. "Do you remember..?" I raise an eyebrow at the end of her statement. Remember what? That I talked to you earlier? That your names Noah? That I'm going to _miss_ my bus? And then she sighs. "I guess I was wrong... sorry for bugging you."

That spiked my curiosity. "Wait, what do you mean?" I make to grab her elbow and she whips around- I drop my hand meekly.

She comes close, too close for my liking. She nods me lower to her height and her eyes are glancing around the hall until I'm just at a whispering distance.

"You promise you won't tell?" She asks.

"Yes.. promise." I mutter, and then her eyes are staring into mine.

"I've known Hope for all my childhood." She starts and I wonder if she knows what she's saying.. to me, who didn't even know her name two seconds ago. I would have told any other girl to save it- and rethink what they'll share, but this is about Hope and my curiosity is getting the better of me. "And I've- well I don't know much about her. I know her favorite color, her opinions, all those things.. my point is- I don't know where she lives in my District, I don't know that girl in town, chick named Aven. Or.." She paused here. Her lips pursed and she seemed to rethink her saying.

But I nudge her further. "Or what?"

"I thought it was you." She blurts out.

I don't know what she could mean. All the things she is mentioning are already known, and no one understands them. And still she mentions me, associated with Hope..?

"Me, what?"

"I thought you were that guy. The one I saw her with."

Ouch. Did you have to say that so bluntly? I winced on the inside, and took a visible deep breath. So Hope did have a guy. A secret one. Great...

"It wasn't me." I clarify. I hike the bag higher on my shoulder and start walking down the hall. But Noah matches my pace, her voice flowing at a fast pace.

"But who is it? He was tall- like you. I think. I only got a glimpse." She prattles on as if she has been holding this to herself for a long time. "I showed up early to where we meet up on the corner over by the town square. She was hugging him- and then she saw me and she came at me, pushing me and turning me away. She was talking really fast and was all flustered- I'd never seen her like that! And whenever I mention it she waves it away, pretending I made it up."

"Sounds like she doesn't want to talk about it, to me." I mutter. Suddenly finding myself in not a talking mood either.

It was a lot nicer knowing she wouldn't have me, and didn't have anyone else- then knowing that she did. Now I feel like a pathetic hung up sap.

Noah doesn't seem to want to accept this. The whole pretending it isn't real. I would like to- if she would stop following me.

"I know she doesn't. But she's never purposely kept something from me before! I just.. why wouldn't she tell me who? It's none of the guys from our District and well.. when you came up to me today and asked about her I thought.. but obviously not. I just-"

We reached the front doors of the school now and I pushed out of them, the sun caught my eyes and I spotted my bus a little ways away, readying to go. "Look- I'm sorry but I have to go. I'm sorry that she's.. keeping things from you, but I really don't know Hope. It wasn't me." I wave a hand as I run down the steps and she stand there staring after me.

I hop onto the bus not a second before the doors close and as I slip into the nearest empty seat- I look back at the girl, Noah. And her face is sad, reminding me of a pouting dog, her shoulders are slumped. The exact kind of look my parents would have snapped at me for possessing.

And I know she isn't going to drop this. I made a promise not to tell- and I wasn't going to. But Noah told me, not anyone else. Me, and that fact was going to keep her coming back. I can see it in the look on her face- she was going to talk to me tomorrow... she's going to ask me for help, in finding this guy- that I swear I envy so much I would turn the color green.

I don't know whether to be excited that I'm finally getting a chance to slip into Hope's life- or if I should be terrified beyond my wits. It was a coincidence that she thought it was me and now that she knows it isn't- she wants my help. There was something upsetting about that fact- that Hope had a secret.

And I know, I was going to help Noah. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Because... Hope has a secret, and I'm going to find out what and who. It had to be something small though- what would Hope be hiding?

How would I ever get her to tell me? How had I even gotten myself into this? She misses one day of school and I find myself knowing a secret only her best friend knows.. a secret- that has only deepened the mystery around this girl, Hope. Of District 8.

I guess I'll just have to see what Noah wants to do- tomorrow.

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><p><em><strong>AN: **I couldn't stop myself! And I know the first chapters a bit boring.. but I'm preparing the set of the story for you. I hope you like it so far. It's going to be purely a romance really. (sorry guys.) Expect a lot of 'awe' moments later on. Waiting to see Hope? Hoping to see her POV? Yeah- your not getting it. Not yet anyway. Thanks for reading, review! -Taryn(: _


	2. Falter

Chapter 2- "Falter"

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><p>The bus ride in the morning, seems extra long. Bumpy, noisy, and with my over packed bag sitting at my side- a sudden nervous tremor runs up the length of my body.<p>

Hope will be there today. Noah... will Noah really talk to me? Yesterday seems a bit surreal. Maybe I dreamed it last night.. possibly. But how had I even come up with that name Noah? And why would my subconscious torture with me not seeing Hope at all and then figuring out she had this other guy..?

With that logical thinking- I'm forced to accept it.

I've didn't do any of my homework last night, instead I spent the evening convincing my mother to let me spend the next three days in District 11. She wasn't relenting though- until my dad butted in and told her to lay off, let me go and experience the life they never had.

After that I distracted myself with packing. Then pacing my room- until I forced myself into bed, warding off thoughts of Hope or attempting to. But she crept into my head, her smiling face though wasn't directed towards me, but this mysterious man. Who I don't know.

The jealousy twisted my gut and it was nearly enough to make me just to want to approach her and demand to know who this guy is. She would just tell me she didn't know what I'm saying and that she didn't know me- then call me crazy, running away from me. Taking all my hope with her.

I was going to have to rely on Noah today, to keep me in check. I just pray she's up to the task..

All I can say is I'm relieved in the fact that after today, that promises to be stressful, I'll get to spend a weekend with my friends. Mike's always a laugh, Levi's witty, and Mitch... well he's my friend- so I'm glad to be with them.

When the bus, roiling engine and all- slams to a stop. Jostling the passengers, and nearly knocking my bag to the floor- I'm faced with the front of our school. The doors are propped open to the mornings rising sun, it's early rays flashing across the pavement between the milling students on the sidewalks- up the steps and inside.

I wait for the others to go first, before I stand, hanging my head as to avoid the top of the bus and hauling my backpack behind myself. When I stubbled down the steps though- I scan the sea of people. Looking for some ground, a friend, an acquittance. Because if it was one thing I learned about high school- it is never go in alone. Just like the ocean, don't dive in head first, unless you know someone has your back.

No one jumps out at me, so I tag along with my old gang of friends from my District. They don't mind much, they give me waning smiles, I stride in next to them. I'm usually more tired in the morning, like all the yawning students around me- but I find myself too nervous to even bother myself with the sleep deprivation.

Above the echoing noise of the hallways, beyond the school walls- I hear the shrill whistles from the train station. Signaling much more the the trains arrival. But the begging of my day, that girl. The mysterious Hope Clarke.

I find my locker easily, my fingers feel numb turning the dial. I force a deep breath. Maybe I was getting my hopes too high. What if Noah decides to forget she told me? What if she thought I was a jerk for running off yesterday?

I traded the backpack for my lighter English book. I stand in front of the open locker for a minute- staring around, looking at the faces that were familiar but the names that had never stuck. I try to find Mike or Mitchel maybe Levi, but they must be in class already.

I slam the metal door, not even bothering to turn the dial. I head towards class, people swerving around me, while I cut through the press of traffic easily. My height causes people to shy away, and I have no difficulty.

When I enter the class- there is no stopping my eyes as they scan it. Everyone was in place, except that ever telling gathering of girls. They weren't here yet. There was still seven minutes before the bell would ring and I slip into my seat. Mike grins at me- I smile wryly back.

"Whats up with you?" He asks.

"Noth'in. I'm just fine." I mutter quickly looking for a diversion. "My parents are letting me come, did one of your parents agree to let me stay for the weekend?"

Mike nods. "Levi's will. His mother may not like her son leaving, but she can't stand the idea of another sleeping out on the streets. You're in. Don't even worry about it- plus I think we'll find something to do. It won't completely suck."

"Just not the same as fishing." I mutter, sadly.

He shrugs and I don't know if I've upset him or he's just agreeing. I'm not good at guessing what people are thinking or feeling. A gift some lucky few have, but I defiantly don't possess.

Then theirs this laugh. That makes the hair on the back of my neck prickle and I shot up, sitting straighter- my eyes zoning in on the girl entering the doorway.

God. I've forgotten how pretty she is.

Her arms clutch a book to her chest, her gentle shoulders are straight though- not curving around them. She holds herself proud, her chin tilted up and her full lips, soften her face- with a grin. Flashes of white teeth gleam as she laughs, the sound like a chiming bell. Her hair is like falling spirals of golden thread.

Then I fumble, look away- my eyes focus on Mike's knowing smile. He raises an eyebrow, I kick him swiftly in the shin, enough to make him wince and drop his eyes from mine. I slouch back in my chair pretending to read the book, I flip it open to a random page.

That's when I see the shadow fall across my desk.

I try to keep the stress from tensing up my shoulders, but fail. I try to keep the panic from my eyes and the shaking in my hands from my voice- but I barely manage it.

"Damien." I glance up to find Noah leaning over me, Hope and that red head are standing on her two sides. Both of them peering down at me curiously- I stare into Hope's eyes too long though before they flicker back to Noah's.

"Hey." I murmur, thank god my voice sounded sure and smooth.

She giggles. The sound startles me, I nearly jump out of my skin- that's when Hope's laughter joins in and my face tinges slightly. Then Noah asks. "Do you normally read upside down?"

My eyes fly down to the book in between my hands and I failed to realize in my fumbling that it wasn't turned properly. Noah fixes that though, turning it around delicately. But too late, my face is on fire now. Because I only said one word- and Hope is already laughing at me.

"It's a new hobby." I mumble, trying to shrug it off- but not meeting any of the girls gazes.

Mike is staring at us, I see it out of the corner of my eyes.

"You'll have to teach it to me sometime." Noah replies, through a grin. "Anyway, I was wondering, about yesterday.." Her voice trailed off and my eyes flash up to Hope- who isn't looking at me, but at the book. The hazel is brighter then I've ever seen it... or maybe I've just never been this close before- because it is suddenly very apparent to me, the gold in them. "Are you free later.." My eyes widen now, looking to Noah in confusion- she stares back in a hard way. "To tutor me, in math?"

I blink. "Huh?"

Her jaw clenches slightly, and I wondered what I did to make her mad suddenly. "Don't you remember? After school, I was talking to you about tutoring me, in math... oh come on.. you know!"

That's when I caught on, when it was glaringly obvious- I was nearly sent to blushing again. "Oh yeah. Math. I don't mind.."

"Cool." She brightens instantly, and as she stands straighter- the bell rings. Hope and the red head began to slip away but she adds. "Sit by me in math, will you? I'll want your help."

She walks away then, following after the other girls. Mr. Lark takes up their spots, in the front of the class- taking attendance. This time when he calls out her name, she replies will a cheerful, "Here!"

Mike seems to drop the curiosity of what they were saying to me, for actually listening to the teachers lecture. Class started slow, I found myself replaying that little scene over and over again- and I felt like I hadn't gotten one good look at Hope, when I know I had plenty.

But still as the lesson drags on and I fail to even understand a word of it. I chance a glance across the room. Where the girls had place themselves.

Hope was propping her face up by her hand, her eyes track the teacher- she doesn't seem bored but not too terribly interested. Just light and considering, peaceful, and the way she held her body- curving to the left, elbow propped up on the desktop, legs tucked neatly under the chair, sitting tall... she was just a refreshing sight.

She didn't look like she hadn't slept much or had been sick the previous day. It was hard to imagine her being sick. With eyes that bright.. to ever see them sad seemed like a impossibility.. and so did the thought of her possessing secrets.

What could she possibly be hiding? Besides what Noah saw.. who was this guy? Why hide him?

I try to make sense of the thought when someone shifts into my view, blocking Hope from my sight- and it is Noah who is staring me down now. I almost avert my eyes, but she mouth something to me.

I can't read lips, but she repeats the action three times before I think I grasp the first word of what she is telling me.

"_Hold.." _

What? Hold on? Hold.. my thoughts? Hold her hand? Her bag?

I shake my head at her, not understanding. She sighs looking deflated and I turn away.

For the lesson I just sit flipping through my book, not really reading, but avoiding looking at anything else really. Until he's given us an assignment. It isn't too difficult a simple worksheet- but still my friends, Mike, Mitch, and Levi herd around my desk. Mooching some answers.

They have me relaxed in minutes, laughing and joking around. Mitch starts really getting into a retelling of some story, about a cat and.. something to do with farming. But for some reason every word of it make my face split into a grin.

None of the worksheet was completed in this time. Even though I re-read the first question about ten times. I just came up blank.

When the bell rang- we all jumped. Then laughed together. We gathered our stuff, but as I was picking up my binder I spotted something I hadn't noticed before. My eyes look to the doorway and see a flash of Noah's slim form slipping out- her hair whipping after her. I pick up the folded piece of paper then, my face sobering.

Mike calls out to me, halfway to the door- I stand, not looking up and I stumble into the hall after them. The note is unfolded and wrinkled against the books in my arms and I read it quickly- though no ones gonna peer over _my _shoulder to read it.

_Hold on! Do you... like Hope? I knew you seemed concerned yesterday, but I didn't think.. I could help you. If you wanted. Most guys I would turn away- there is no hope when trying to win over Hope. But I'll try- if you help me figure out who this other guy is. Deal? _

I hadn't realized I'd stopped dead in the middle of the hall- until I felt some younger kids elbow slam into my gut. I winced- then rushed towards my locker. I messed up the combination, my fingers were shaking slightly.

Was she serious? Was it possible? _Could _I get Hope with help? Would I be able to find out this mystery guy? Then overcome the fact that he exists, and win her over?

Thoughts that probably never occurred to me before. The nerves were back in full. And as I walked to math, I wrote a sloppy reply... one that in which I didn't know know how far the deal will turn out to go.

_I do. Is it that obvious? And I'll take your deal. Though how much can you really influence her? When she hides so much from you also? .. has she an opinion on me? _

That last part I hesitantly put, but I couldn't resist it.

When I entered the math room, they were already in their spots. But as I walked towards my seat cautious- Noah's head shot up, and she waved me over to her.. patting the seat just to her right.

I smiled back at her and slid over to them- trying to keep from stumbling. I ran a quick hand through my hair, that tends to be so messy.. and when I slumped into the seat next to her, Hope, on her left looks up- giving me a blinding grin.

But that was it, because the bell rang and her eyes went obediently to the teacher.

As the lesson began, I easily slipped the note to Noah. She read it behind the wall of her hand. Her face was serious though. Not grinning or franticly thoughtful- which was all I had yet to see. When she wrote back a response she had to think about it first.

_When you stare at her- a bit. And good, I can influence her! Thank you very much. I've already told her what a helpful and kind fella you are. For tutoring me and all.. you are good at math aren't you? Hiding a guy is different. I don't think it effects the friendship. Oh and I was talking to her- well more like interrogating her about you. She likes your eyes. _

My eyes. I had to fight a smile on that one. I felt some warmness drip through my nerves, into my fluttering stomach. My eyes, she likes my eyes. So she liked the blue. It wasn't notoriously bright or extremely dark. I thought they were quiet ordinary when it came to the blue eyed blonde hair combo. Oh well, if she liked them- then I love them.

_I can do math. Are you really struggling? I'll take your word on that, by the way. How do you suppose we go about.. figuring out this... secret? _

This reply was interrupted by the teacher calling on Noah. Who sat there blinking, until I saw Hope whisper to her the answer- which she stated easily. As if she had been doing it mentally.

Hope's gaze met my clueless one. Her eyes were... kind of sharp. Then she looked away.

The note fell back onto my book and Noah suddenly flipped her hair, leaned forward, far enough I wouldn't be able to see her face or Hope.

_Take her by surprise. That's the main lead in figureing this out. She thinks everything through- it's odd. She plans everything. Take her off guard- because I can't, she expects me to do it. Don't think, don't give her time to think- go with the moment. And don't ever, not once mention me. Oh, and she's questioning your motives now. I knew she would- you were suppose to give me the answer, she thinks your just trying to get with me, not help me. Sit by me at lunch and in gym- run with us. Try to.. get her to like you also- that's part of the plan. _

Yes all that is nice and dandy.. just one more question- if you think I knew how to get her to like me, don't you think I would have done it already?

I stuff the note into my pocket now. Since she obviously didn't expect a reply. I was slightly put out by the fact that Hope has already begin to think something that isn't me. How do I prove I'm not trying to get with Noah, but with her? Would she appreciate that? Or will she be disgusted?

As the homework was passed around- I threw myself into a tutoring mode. Noah actually sucks at this, and I went over it all, slowly and step by step. She was really listening, actually got a few- but some she was still sent into confusion. Hope worked alone, silently, and finished in minutes. Then proceed to watch my tutoring lesson.

I hardly got a problem done in my homework- but Noah's was finished by the time the bell rang. She thanked me and then we walked out together, Hope led us a little in front. One arm swinging down at her side- her fingers were uncurled.. my own fingers twitched to grab them.

But she would she rip them from my grasp wouldn't she?

I headed for my locker then- grabbing my gym things and making it to the locker room without being late this time. The room is louder then usually- the guys are jumping around, laughing, and I try to get in and out quickly.

When I'm in the gym the coach has everyone do ten push ups and then ten sit ups in three reps. Noah wanders over to me, asks me to be her partner in the reps. I agree but not before I scan the room for Hope- who isn't out of the locker yet.

I was in the middle of holding down Noah's feet when she did emerge.

I tried to keep my eyes off of her- while she arched her back, arms overhead, pulling her layers of hair into a pony. The hem of her shirt lifting up to reveal a slim strip of her stomach.

Noah laughed at the tinge of red on my face. I tried to glare at her, but her laugh was infectious- and I laughed it off with her.

Hope had seen I'd taken her usually partner and teamed up with my abandon one- Mike.

That shut off the merriment immediately. Noah shrugged, obviously not having thought this one out.

"Run with her. She's pretty fast, and I'll distract the other girls. Try to get her to laugh, make her smile. Something, okay?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. If I knew what to say to her, I would have. I'm.."

"Hopeless." She teased, and then stood over me- running a hand through my messy hair. "I'm here to help you though! Hope has weaknesses... we just have to find them."

Swatting away her hand and standing also- so the thought of her touching my hair seemed impossible- I glace over at Hope. "Don't let her think, right?"

"Right."

Grimacing slightly to myself- we are ordered outside. The day isn't as hot as the other one. A slightly cold dew still hangs in the air from the morning while little white clouds run across the sun. I have to pace myself slow while I watch the faster guys run passed, Noah had stopped and waited for the herd of girls. I jogged- looked back and saw she had all influenced them to go extremely slow, slow enough to make Hope give up on that speed and go at a normal one.

I wait until she's about to pass me before speeding up to match her run. She looks up at me- through a curl that has fallen free and into her eyes, flashing me a playful smile.

"Afraid I'll lap you?" She asks.

"Nope." I answer, my voice sort of shaking because I'm running. But she's talking to me... this is just all too surreal.

She rose an eyebrow, her eyes flickering from the path to my face. Despite her running, her voice is only slightly breathless, but surprisingly even. "Wanna race?"

I laugh wheezily, looking forward now, instead of staring at her. "If I say no, will you call me a loser?"

"Never!" She admonishes, but her grin and that spark in her eyes- say other wise.

I narrow my own eyes and then looking around I nod. "Fine. We'll race- you get a ten second head start."

"Just one lap?"

"One." I confirm, and she suddenly breaks into a sprint.

Despite what I said, I count to fifteen before picking up my speed and taking longer strides. I keep well enough behind her for the most of the lap, breathing heavily, the coldness of the air- stinging my throat. Up to the last hundred meters, I caught up with her.

She was panting, her teeth dung into her lip- it was adorable. Her body moved in better stance then mine, then most peoples. If my legs weren't so long- she might have had me in the dust. I stay about two feet behind her. Until we pass the invisible line of victory.

She slows to nearly a crawl. But doesn't stop completely- I slip right to her side.

"You let me win." She whispers, fast and gasping. Her eyes aren't upset, but she doesn't like that I did it.

"Never!" I copy her word from earlier, through my own panting.

She laughs then, it is startlingly loud- and is mostly just her chest shaking with not air entering her lungs- until she is grinning up at me.

I smile back, locked into her gaze. She shoots off again, running.

I didn't follow- should I? I didn't. I had already made her laugh like Noah wanted. Plus I think that's what Hope expected me to do.. and I'm suppose to do the opposite of that. So I even slowed pace.

She laps me sometime later- and I force myself not even to look at her.

After everyone is done. Me being one of the last to finish. We start a game of field soccer again. This time I'm not goaly.

Since Hope is here- she's voted as team caption and that boy from yesterday, from District 1. He's the second teams caption.

The class spreads out across a line. Waiting to be chosen. I don't want to be on that guys team, he won't pick me anyway. I'm clumsy when it comes to soccer, people tangle in with my legs and I usually let the girls score the net. I'm more of a basketball player, where I don't even need to jump to touch the hoop.

Hope picks all those weaklings that the guy avoids. She chooses Noah once everyone that she knows will be neglected is gone (proving once again how considerate she is). I see Noah whispers something to her- and Hope motions me to their side.

I was one of the last chosen, we get three minutes to set up. Hope talks really fast, and tells us our parts- me and Noah are sent to the outer field near the left side of the net, where there is the least amount of action.

I stand out to the side, watching people fight over the ball in the middle of it. Noah spins around me, walking in circles- obviously bored. I raise an eyebrow at her and she points over to Hope.

Hope is in the net, she's goaly. Instead of taking the most important role up front with the ball, she's chosen to help defend. She's not doing much, just shifting her weight from foot to foot.

"You should have beat her.." Noah says, in a lulling voice.

"You want me to beat a girl in competition? She'll think I'm a jerk."

"No.." Noah stops walking, leaning into my left arm- her mouth curving into a smile. "She would have been surprised, that you didn't let her win like the other boys. I told you not to let her think and you went with what she said. Do something that she doesn't."

"Like what? What should I be doing now?"

She considers this for a minute, and then stands straight. "Walk her to her next class, take her gym bag- and force her to let you."

The thought made me think of trouble. Of her assuming I would steal, or being too dominating or rude... she could get angry, though I've never seen her angry before...

"I don't know.." I start but Noah's eyes are glaring at me now, arms crossing over her chest.

"Do you trust me or what?" She demands, and her eyes are so blue.. I'm reminded of the ocean, right before a storm.

"Fine, I'll try it." I say, laying down the fight and looking over to the goal- the boy had managed to score while we were talking. Some team mates were shouting at us for just standing there, but it hadn't even come through our region.

When the game ends I managed to stop two goals from my post, saving Hope the trouble- though she was covered in grass stains already. I see she has chosen goaly for more then the reason I had thought earlier. But since she knew her team wasn't one to match his, she thought to protect the thing they couldn't. Though it's proven harder then she thought.

At the end of the game it's zip to ten. We lost but Hope is still grinning when she shakes the other team caption's hand.

I jogged up to the locker room- finish showering just before the others are arriving. I pull on a shirt trying to shake out the water in my hair as I'm going out into the gymnasium.

I wasn't surprised to see Noah standing outside the girls locker room holding Hope's bag. I crossed to her quickly and she shoved the things into my arms, I tossed it halfheartedly over my shoulder with my own. It's heavier then mine, what does she carry in here? Rocks?

Noah grins at me, but when the door opens and Hope is slipping out, I feel very small as her eyes zone in on the bag over my shoulder.

"He insisted." Noah says instantly.

Hope's face had looked perplexed then she rose an eyebrow, a smile playing at her lips. "I hadn't realized that this was the reward of winning." She declares, continuing forward, reaching a hand towards the strap.

But I pull it out of her grasp- with Noah glaring at me from over Hope's shoulder. I glance back at the hazel, that looks calm and sure. "You took off before I could tell you." I manage to say. I didn't know how to convince her to let me walk her. I couldn't.. how could you take Hope off guard?

She purses her lips seeming to think and Noah shakes her head. So I sputter the first thing on my mind.

"You have science next don't you? I have it the period after. I didn't do my homework last night, do you think you could help me with it while we walk? Since I let you win and all- it'll even out the.. odds."

Hope cocks her head to the side, something I'd never seen before. "I wasn't here yesterday, I didn't do the homework either."

Damn it. Noah smacks her palm against her forehead- maybe I am hopeless. Hope takes the bag from my shoulder, and some how manages not to touch my arm once. Then she's walking away, not to be late.

Noah shakes her head at me, and I follow after her towards the halls. "Stop being so.. hesitant and soft!" She hisses, as we walk. "Don't go with her thoughts! And make sure she can't outsmart your words."

"That's impossible! She's smarter then me!"

"Hope is clueless in some areas, Damien." There was a goading tone in her voice and her eyes meet mine darkly.

I know what she is hinting at. "But if she has a secret guy.. do you really believe that anymore?" I ask.

"We'll see won't we?" She counters. "Make her uncomfortable, take her out of her zone. Shatter a plan of hers- maybe it'll knock down a wall. You need to be unpredictable!"

I'm one of the most predictable guys I know. I run a hand through my hair, trying to lay it flat in the same movement. This was going to be harder then I thought. I'm putty in Hope's hands, like everyone. And Noah is telling me to change it- to become the boss.

It's like the first time I met Hope again. When she was the one taking care of me, when I should have been the man in the situation.

But she was a leader, a natural born leader- she wasn't easily put under. I wondered if she was faced with something fearful, if she would even take a moment to actually feel fear, or would she stare it calmly in the face? Did she have a weakness? Or are we kidding ourselves?

"I'll try." I sigh to Noah, as we reach my locker and she gives me a nod before walking away.

The next class passes slow, boring and I try to think of a plan, to talk to Hope at lunch. To take her off guard. I just can't think of anything- I feel like she can't be broken. What can I do- that no one else has already tried and failed with?

When lunch rolls around I tell my friends that I won't be sitting with them. Levi is confused but then Mike is all smiles and whispering. Probably telling them about my predicament from English and gym. Levi doesn't look jealous though, even though I know he has a crush on Hope. He's giving me that knowing look like all of them.

We enter the lunch room together- I buy a sandwich and water, then I spot them across the room, so far from my own table.

There's flocks of girls surrounding Hope, but like a loyal pup- Noah is on her right, a space open for me just off to Noah's own right. There is only one other guy at that table overflowing with estrogen- he's a shorter fella, with shaggy black hair, dark eyes, and long eyelashes. I didn't know his name, I knew he was from District 8. Him and Hope are friends, and him and her are currently bantering playfully.

Was he the guy?

But Noah had said the one she saw was tall and not from their old school. With that information I tried not to be jealous as I slid into the spot next to Noah.

The herd of them welcomed me with smiles, even the guy. Maybe he was glad for the company. He even stood slightly, reaching a hand across the table to me. I take it shaking it hesitantly and as he sits he says.

"You're from District 4, right?" I nod and he grins. "It's such a pretty place there."

"You've been there?" I ask.

"Yep, lots of times. My mother takes me traveling around a lot. She used to travel when she was younger and shows me all of the Districts now."

His mother doesn't sound the normal type. "Oh? That's awesome, I'm actually going to District 11 this weekend- heard it was a lot hotter up in that climate."

"Muggy too. I've been there a few times, I hear they are reconstructing some of the upper parts of town now. It'll be something to check out if you can." I've decided I like this kid. Even if he's handsome and talking to Hope- and then he adds. "Oh! My names Caleb, by the way.. and you?"

I don't know what makes me notice this, for it didn't seem like anything was off to me, but Hope- who I'm hyper aware of, her fingers had been twisting around her water bottle – when her hands suddenly faltered, only just a bit. But I saw it.

"Damien." I mutter, my eyes focusing on her then flickering back up to this boy's chocolate brown orbs. "My names Damien."

From then on, the talking was easy- Hope participated a lot, I wasn't so shy. But never were we directly talking together. It was just a group thing, Noah tried to influence it otherwise, drawing my attention towards her first- who waved it away. Then her attention towards me, but I kept blotching it up.

Caleb seemed to try and help, I think. He obviously noticed my stares and he was constantly trying to pull me in the conversations whenever I seemed to get withdrawn and uncertain.

When lunch was up and people started to fade away, dumping uneaten food or off to finish homework from last night- I watched Caleb and Hope walk off together, after she asked him to help her with what she missed the other day.

When it was just me and Noah we rose, crossing the lunch room, dropping off our trays.

"What's with that kid?" I ask after the silence of us started to get to me.

She hesitated a minute. "Funny you should ask." She says, then glances at me, looking thoughtful. "Him and her are friends, not even that close- I know it wasn't him she was with. But her and his mom have a close friendship. I think, at least that's what I gathered- after the years Caleb would always tell her his mom said hi, or asked her to come over. And she would always to try to play it off."

"What's with the mom then?" I ask, remembering how it was odd she traveled around- unlike so many of those who have grown up in the old ways.

Noah shrugs. "No idea, only met her once- really pretty, name was Tera. She was nice though, maybe she just approves of Hope like ever adult does."

It's true. I haven't one teacher, parent, or elder who didn't adore Hope. I knew mine would be fawning over her in seconds. The thought of taking Hope home though, to my parents- was exhilarating and terrifying in one. But also completely imaginary and impossible.

"Do you think I'll ever get her to even consider.. liking me?" The idea seemed just as unbelievable. I wished it could happen, for her to look at me and to know it was me she held into a higher light. Or at least picture me in a fraction of the way I do her. To hold her hand...

"It's the first day!" Noah exclaims, rolling her eyes and shoving towards my next classroom. "We haven't even begun- and a deal is a deal. I'm not giving up. But as soon as I get you under that wall- you had better get me some answers. Do you know what it is like to have your best friend hide things from you? You just keep being unpredictable and I'll find some way for you to get through."

"Okay, but I'm trusting you, Noah!" I call after her- as she begins to walk away. People in the hall glance at me oddly, but she gives me a thumbs up continuing around the next corner.

This class I was stuck to myself. There was no one in here I knew, so I began to work on the homework I've been neglecting. It wasn't hard, it bore me to tears and I found myself staring outside the nearest window. I kind of wished I could be out on my boat, with the waves rocking me back and forth. Calming me and putting me at ease. The ability to dip my fingers into the warm, salty water- lapping against my palm.

The sun could warm my tan skin and shine brightly against closed eyes lids- like an infinitely light blanket covering my body.

I nearly nodded off to sleep then in class- my face leaning into my hands. Body hunched over, shoulders drooping. But the bell shocked me to life.

Numbly I made the transition, from this class to my last one. I had Mike in this one so we just sat around talking, mostly bored- he told me about what he wanted to do once we got to District 11. Told me about how long the bus ride would be, but that we got to see other Districts on the trip. Apparently they pass both District 7 and District 10.

I was actually excited to go though. To actually stay somewhere new. That kid, Caleb, he told us a bunch of tales about his travels. And I couldn't wait to see these old, strangely designed warehouses and towering trees that he had spoken of for District 11. I don't see many trees in my District, it's mostly sandy dunes, rocky soil, docks, and ocean.

I had that detention to serve though, we'll be taking the late bus and be arriving after dark to the District. I won't be able to see much until Saturday. All the same- I was excited. And slowly this faded the nervousness that Hope had me tangled in all day. I almost hated the way she made me jumbled.

Finally once the school day ended- I was standing around my locker. Putting my things aside, my friends were talking around me. Mitch was howling like a hyena at something Levi said and I was grinning because of it.

Noah passed by us- not even looking in my direction. Hope was at her side, they were talking together. Their voices fast and Noah was looking irritated. Hope was calm. I watched them all the way towards the front doors, where Noah turned to face Hope whose back was to me. Noah's face was crumpled. She was using a lot of hand motions.

I realized they were arguing.

"Hey, earth to Damien!" Mike smacks a hand on my shoulder- and I flash my gaze down to his grin. "Distracted by the pretty girls again?"

I rolled my eyes, scoffing as they laughed at my expense. I turned to my locker, picking up my bag- and then out of the corner of my eye, glanced back at them.

But there was no one standing at the doors anymore. The space was clear, some other students filing passed it.

Sighing I told my friends I'll see them later and I made my way towards the library where they will hold me and a handful of others two hours after. They'll be going to the small town around the school, probably mostly just staring at things they can't afford. Or messing around with the locals who've decided to live here- shop owners, teachers, etc..

When I entered the library I handed the slip to a strict looking woman- she nodded me over to an empty table set near the back of the large room. There were other tables littering the open space- only about four other students were here. None of them I knew, looking bored or agitated. I slipped into my seat- setting my bag into the chair next to mine. Staring off into space for.. about the first five minutes.

Until doing nothing got to me and the instinct to just _do _something hits me. For kids like myself and my generation, sitting around isn't something we can do- we have to be learning, playing, talking, thinking, or something. We have to be expanding like our parent's force us to do. We have to be enjoying our freedom..

So I stood- and sauntered over to the nearest book shelf. I plucked off a book, the woman was watching me sharply to make sure I wasn't up to no good. I took the book back to my table and dropped it open to a random page.

It was a history book. One of the newer ones, after most of the Capitol made ones were burned. These showed how cruel our last government had been. Pictures of a man named Snow, of Gamemakers, screen shots of the Games themselves. In the front there is a honor thing to the Mockingjay- Katniss Everdeen. It says she chooses to reside in District 12, with another passed victor Peeta Mellark.

There was a worn picture of the two in here. It showed them at the age of twenty something, but I found myself curious and flipping franticly to the back of the book where there is an index of every victor there ever was. I don't know many, I know the obvious ones, like Katniss or Haymitch who were made famous. And of course Finnik- the handsome one from my own District. They made a shrine of him in town square.

I looked at the page that in big letters had '_District 12 Victors_' across the top. I ran my fingers over the pictures of faces until it stopped on the last one of the page, there were only a few victors over the whole of seventy five years- but the last picture held two kids in it.

They looked much less worn in this one, they were holding hands- standing at their back was a train. '_The two victors of District 12_', it said in the caption.

I felt sad then, about the past. Thinking of just _how much _they fought for what we have now. But they are just too old to really feel the full of it. I feel like I hadn't even worked for my life. That I could never tell Katniss just how grateful I am to her.

To think that I lived in the past- that their were those things called reapings, to watch my friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens fight to the death. And to think that I may have never known Hope- or even worse, she could have been in the Game.

I toss the book away from myself then, in disgust. It falls against the table, the pages rustling and turning with the pull of gravity. It made a loud _thud_ and the woman shushed me sharply. The other kids around turn to glare.

Grumbling I stand again- then reach down to pick up the stupid book. But just as I look down at it a picture catches my eyes, a face, a familiar face..

She had bright green eyes, long ashy blonde hair. Her smile was bright and false- but it didn't distract me from the fact that with her high cheek bones, soft face, and stubborn chin.. she was like Hope's twin or practically, despite little details.

I fell back into the chair staring at this picture. My eyes look to the top of the page and it reads '_District 8 Victors_', there are only a total of five faces on it, even less then how many victors District 12 had.

I read the name under the picture, '_Keera Grooves_', the name meant nothing to me. Not really- vaguely from old history lessons in fifth grade. But how did she look just _so much _like Hope?

Could they be related? The girl only looked about... I checked the caption to be sure, but it read with more information. '_Winner of both 70__th__ and 71__st__ Hunger Games, at the ages of twelve and thirteen. Continued on to be tribute in the 75__th__.'_

It didn't say weather she died or escaped with the rebels. I didn't know much on it- I chose not to continue to study the rebellion where some kids get to decide if they want to be historians of a sort. They gave us a choice to submerge ourselves into the destructive past.

The picture only deepened the mystery of Hope. Was this her mother? Or an aunt? Maybe they just looked alike- in a strange coincidence. But either way I found myself suddenly driven mad with curiosity. I wanted to ask her. Maybe she would wave it off, tell me I'm just funny.

But maybe she'd falter, maybe no ones asked before- she would be unprepared.

I smiled to myself as I walked over to the shelf and replaced the suddenly not so stupid book. I picked up a different one- not history but one about mathematics.

It wasn't so dual after I started to work out some of the problems on paper. It isn't so odd I do it though- it makes my mind turn, it distracts me from the question that I'll be dying to ask Hope and I'll have to wait all weekend to, it keeps me busy and doing something with my freedom.

The hour passes faster now, while I'm working, my foot bouncing up and down. And when that woman calls out that we are free to go- all the others spring up and race for the door. I follow calmly though, placing back the book back and neatly folding the paper up and putting it in my bag.

When I emerge into the hall I toss the bag over my shoulder. The doors are down the hall- I see the others crash out of them and I saunter after.

Just before I reach about a hundred foot distance to the door though- I hear footsteps, running ones, then a form shoots around the corner at the end of the hall, just in front of me. They don't see me and I'm too slow to respond- they ram straight into my chest, sending us both to the ground. As we fell I caught them around the back. I yelped due to the pain from my spine hitting the floor and their finger nails nipping through my shirt where they cling to it. They give a great _hmph _of their own.

Then they are reeling back, tearing out of my arms grasp, the palms of their hands kneading against my chest. I struggle to catch my breath, they are panting, and I get a good look of their face as it stares down at me.

"Hope?" I exclaim, as I take in her. Her cheek were flushed slightly, her eyes are bright with worry and apology, her mouth struggles to form words.

And her body is pressed against mine, her knees straddling my hips. A shiver runs over me, I suddenly can't breath for a new reason and my heart is pounding. I make to sit up and she scrambles off of me, finally finding some words.

"I'm so sorry." She gasps, taking deep breaths. Where had she run from? Why was she still at the school? "I-I needed to get my bag from my locker-" Her eyes flicker down the hall to it, where she obviously still needed to go. "- I'm going to miss the late train, I have to go. I'm so sorry, I was rushing-"

"It's fine." I tell her, rubbing my sore ribcage, I wave a hand towards her lockers and she gives me a huge smile, sprinting down the hall to it.

I watch her fumble quickly with the dial. I still don't understand why she was still here- but I had to be going too, before I missed my bus. I walked over to the door, pushing it open with a hand- the sun was lowering in the horizon, it was around five in the afternoon. The evening was settling, the air was cool.. and I suddenly remembered that question.

I turned around to see her stuffing things into her bag, throwing it around her shoulders. She slams the locker and looks up at me standing in the doorway, staring. She started heading towards me.

I hold the door open for her, watching her with a closed off face.

Would she react? Would she pause to listen to me?

But that was a stupid question, she paused to listen to anyone- she was just too nice to pass someone words up. She believes that people have a voice for a reason, they're meant to be heard.. and I was going to be heard.

I could feel something settle in me, like when I'm with other girls I feel sure of myself. Hope had always been different because she never faltered- but now, seeing her slightly frantic, worried, and rushing- I felt suddenly confident and I matched her pace down the steps, slipping an easy hand under the strap on her shoulders. I slid the bag off of her and then hike it up onto my own.

She looks up at me in a flash, eyes wide and still a bit frantic. Then she sighs. "Damien-" The sound of my name in her sweet voice made me almost melt, she was so cute when flustered. "I know you're nice and gentleman like, but I really am running late. I had to stay after to make up for missing yesterday and my-" Her voice stopped dead, before she started up again in a soft voice. "I need to get home before I cause too much worry."

We stopped at the end of the steps, the side walk at our feet. One way was the train station, the other was the bus station. I knew which way I was going and it wasn't involving Mike and Mitch and Levi.

She held out a patient hand for her bag back, but I only wrapped my fingers possessively around the strap that dug into my shoulder. I stared down into the hazel eyes and I smiled. "I'm not letting you walk all the way there alone, it's getting late. You're stuck with me."

She looked sad for a minute, then thoughtful. She dropped her hand and then looked off down the street- but her eyes focused back on mine again. "Please." She says, her voice more of a sigh, and I felt my confidence ebb. I saw the plead in her eyes, but then I looked back down at my hand- and I remembered that I had seen so many crumble under her gaze before. Those who had just went with what Hope said, like Noah told me.

Hope was more then I thought, because I suddenly saw how clearly. She can read and just_ know_ people, making her manipulative. She hardly useed the gift for bad, but right now I'm determined and I've seen through the ploy.

"Nope." I say, simply, and I began walking down the street- towards the train station. She has no choice but to follow.

She still maintains her composure. I don't even know if the fail of her ploy has faltered something of her. She's calm and silent, walking at my side in a graceful gait.

I wonder what she's like when she's around that guy she has? Has she kissed him? Do they hold hands? I felt myself build on jealousy until I couldn't take it nor the silence- it wasn't even a long walk. I'm surprised she hadn't made that argument. It would take only five minutes to get to the station.

So I pulled up the question. I knew maybe now wasn't the best time. With the few people hanging around the town square, the closing shops around us, and when I've forced her into my company... but we were alone and I don't know if that would ever happen at school.

The words are out, uncut, unedited, and quickly.

"Are you related to Keera Grooves?"

Her shoulder flinches back, her fingers curl into a fist, and she stops dead- eyes flying to mine in shock, there is a mixture of pain in them and I suddenly realized just what dangerous territory I've jumped into, head first- and no one has my back.

"What did you say?" She demands, and it as if her voice has transformed. It is a whisper, unbelieving and bordering on anger.

I stare at her. I think my confidence has slipped out from under me. Just as much as her calmness has vanished. We stare at each other for a long time. Until I get the courage to repeat myself.

"Keera Grooves. You look like her, in the history books. Victor of District 8." I bark out, bluntly, not willing to back out now- I've already put myself into this, I wasn't going to leap away. "Are you related?"

She stares at me for a long time, as if she is waiting for me to say more. Then she steps forward and shoves me- in the chest, I stumble back only a step. She has the amount of strength of a new born kitten.

"What do you want from me!" She cries, angrily. I don't understand what she means. Her face has distorted into something I never thought possible. She was going to cry- I could see it in her eyes, and I felt my throat tighten. I was going to make.. _Hope.. _fucking _Hope Clarke _cry. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world. If the football team found out- I'd be murdered. I try not to wince when she comes at me again, grabbing the strap of her bag and ripping it off of my shoulder. I let her take it.

"First you have Noah attack me!" She says, and the tears spill out, down her cheeks. "All day, constantly bugging me about that stupid time she saw me hugging-" She gasped in a choking, sob like breath and I felt myself fall away. Everything I held vanished, the confidence and daring, I don't even want to know who she was hugging anymore. "It doesn't even matter! They- they're just.." She crumbles to the tears then, her hand raise to bury her face in the palms. Her shoulders shake as she cries, her bag has dropped to her feet.

I stood their across her. Had I really just made her cry? Just with one question? I felt terrible, I didn't know what to say. I felt like snapping at Noah, but I knew it was my fault too.

"I'm sorry." I murmur, because that's all I could think of saying. I move towards her, to touch her arm lightly, and she lets me. She doesn't flinch away. I run it up the length of her soft skin, trying to comfort her- then she drops her hands, revealing her tear stained face. Something I've never seen before.

"No, it's not your fault." She says, sniffling. "I'm just.. it's just.. stressful. I'm sorry, Damien- please I'm still not feeling well still from yesterday. I have lots of homework, Noah and me had a fight about the stupidest thing.. "

She's making excuses now. I can see it. She bends down to pick up the bag and continues to mumbles. "Ignore what I said, I was just being a girl you know." She musters up a strained smile. "I don't know who this Keera is.. I just- you, I ran into you and you were being nice after and then I just snapped, I'm sorry." Her eyes raised down the street, towards the train station. "I have to go, I'll.. make up it up to you Monday, I'll buy you lunch or something-" She starts walking away.

She's just trying to cover up her lasp in emotion, her sudden falter- she's trying to hide it and wave it away with excuses. I wondered if this has ever worked on someone before, but it's not going to work with me. There is something, the secrets are driving me mad. Who is this guy? Who is Keera to Hope? Why was she so angry before and why was she crying after? What made it so stressful to her?

Maybe it wasn't a smart move, but I followed her- I caught up with her in full when we reached the train station and she stopped just before entering the doors, to look at me. Her expression perplexed- did she really think her excuses would work?

I smile at her, slip on the train passed her and take one of the many empty seats. It was the late train, not many people were on here, about ten. Hope stares at me like I'm crazy. Her face still looks worn from the tears she's neglected to wipe away.

"What?" I ask her, placing my bag- full of everything I need for over the weekend on the seat to my right.

"This is to District 8." She rasps, stumbling on passed the doors.

"I know, so?"

Her eyes narrow, as she falls into a seat across me. "So you live in District 4." She _had_ been listening at lunch hadn't she..

I grin, despite how rotten I feel- but I don't even know what I'm saying, the words are controlled by curiosity and my sudden need to know her more. "Didn't Noah tell you?" I ask, she quirks an eyebrow. "I'm staying with her over the weekend. My friends in District 11 canceled." I sent a silent sorry to them as they waited for me on the bus- but they could wait and Hope was weak now, I may not have to courage to do this, in the next five minutes.

Hope is silenced then, her lips press together- she is thinking. I know I shouldn't let her, like Noah said but I decide for this moment I will. The train suddenly shrieks though, the whistle makes me jump- her lips twitch. The train jerks into motion, and I suddenly actually don't have the courage- because as of this moment I can't change my mind and slip back out those doors.

As the train begin to pick up speed, Hope finally wipes away the tears- pull out a jacket, wrapping herself in it and it seems she's decided to pull out her old self- the real Hope that isn't wrought with sudden emotions. Her face softens, and she smiles are me kindly. "Well then... I hope you enjoy your visit to District 8. It's quite... gray." And those were the last words she uttered to me through the whole ride.

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><p><strong><em>AN: _**_HELL! I know it's SOO long, but I'm sorry, I couldn't find a good place to cut it! I hope you liked it, thanks for reading- review! -Taryn(:_


	3. Broken

Chapter 3- "Broken"

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><p>When the train slides to a stop I'm all but withering in my seat- shaking and my teeth chattering. I understood now why Hope had bundled herself up with that jacket upon entering, and then later through the long ride she wound a pretty, purplish scarf around her neck. The temperature seemed to drop dramaticly the further we went- the train going breathtakingly fast.<p>

While I tried not to look out the surrounding windows (where as I'd feel like I'd vomit if I do) I rubbed my arms for warmth. Watching Hope snuggle around herself in her own seat- eyes cast wistfully out the windows.

Was it winter in District 8?

The thought never struck me. And I was packed to go to hot and muggy District 11... not some below thirty, turn your lips blue- District 8.

She seemed at ease the longer it went, she stopped avoiding my gaze- as if everything was forgotten, as if I were forgiven and I always have ridden this train before. Was she just becoming more comfortable the closer she got to home? Was she going to hide from me the whole time I'm there?

Will I step out and then turn straight back- catch a train or bus to District 11? Would Noah even let me stay? … though something told me she would let me. The problem is I don't know where she lives...

But I'm sure Hope does.

I don't want to ask her though. It would be embarrassing. She would say yes, I know, because that is just Hope. But... underneath what is she really thinking?

I've begun to wonder if there was more to Hope. Much, much more then I had ever previously thought..

She was up in seconds- before the train even came to a full stop. I stood too, not as gracefully- but stumbling and scrambling to pull my bag over my shoulder. She looked up at me then- her eyes are calm though and she gives me a closed lip smile.

I fumble to return it.

Then she is walking towards the open doors. Other people of the ten that are on with us head for it too-and when I slip in front of them I hiss in a breath through my teeth as a icy wind brushes over my face.

I'm half pushed out onto the platform, and as my eyes sweep left and right- the first thought that form in my head is, Hope was right.

It is gray.

It's beyond gray. It's washed out, it's ugly- the airs filthy.

I look to Hope, she's already heading away from the train and down the platform steps. Her scarfs been yanked up to cover her mouth. My eyes lift from her back to the District laying out in front of us.

I was betting we are in low town. By the crumbling cement buildings surrounding the station. All the surfaces were paved, there were no gaps between the transition from building, sidewalk, and street. No little patches of grass like in my home. I followed behind her, for a little of the ways, my head looking around in wonder. In between the buildings were shadowy alleys, as I continued down the street my shoes slipped through a thin layer of sludge like ice and snow.

It was blackened, by the pollution that still hung in the air- from both the war and the decades of factory smog. With the sunset sinking across the distant horizon, it tinged the lifeless looking district with a deep orange, fading yellow, and a tinge of blood red.

The smell in the air lingered in the back of my throat- sharp and acidic.

_This _was the place my Hope lived? This dump?

I ran to catch up with her, nearly slipping in the muck. But when I skidded to a halt at her walking side- she looked up at me, hesitantly.

"Yes?" She murmurs, her voice muffled by the scarf.

I shift my gaze from her to the passing buildings. Most were factories- boarded up and windows shattered. I was distracted from answering when I took in a vandalized wall, with crude language and the black smudges around the factories window- indicated the sign of a fire.

"Sad isn't it?" Hope whispers, her voice was clearer. I look up to see her hands holding away the scarf, her eyes are looking up and down the building in almost a nostalgic way.

"Yeah." My voice was hoarse, so I cleared my throat and tried again. "It's really terrible. What happened?"

She pursed her lips before sighing. "Angry parents, old workers- they like to rally their children to do bad things. They don't like the memory of those places." Even my district isn't that bad... I didn't say it out loud- but I watched her closely as her head turned about the whole street her face set into grim lines. Then she adds, even more quietly. "I'm sorry you have to see it."

My gut twisted at the sound of shame in her voice and then I ask."Have you ever been to any other districts?"

She shakes her head- her curls dance against shafts of the sunsets daze. I found myself staring shamelessly.

How could someone so beautiful? Only see these sort of sights? I craved to show her the oceans wild beauty. The cliffs that you can see, out bobbing in the tide.. the dazzling sun shimmering across the endless blue.

But she replaced her scarf now, her shoulders hunched together against the bitter wind- while her hand hiked the bag higher up her shoulder. She walked faster, nearly leaving me behind in the dust.

"Wait." I say, jogging to match her half run, why was she in such a hurry? Does she hate me yet? "I need directions- to Noah's. I've never been here before.. I don't to get lost.. it's almost night."

She only paused to think about it for a minute before she shrugs and nods her head down a side street. I followed her- but I felt myself curious as to where Hope lived. Were we going in the opposite direction? Did she live in a one bedroom filthy house? Or did she manage a town house? And Noah.. I could see we were heading towards some sort of square- leaving the dank streets behind.

Though It was hardly better up here, the buildings were still pretty old- the squares paving stones seemed loose. Hope stood out among it, the suns last rays silhouette he form across the ground- it shined in mine and her face, but I felt like it sent her hazel eyes to glittering.

I felt bad that she was walking me somewhere, and it wasn't me walking her home. What if I was making her go out of her way? What if it is long passed dark before she makes it to her own house?

I couldn't stand the thought of her walking alone passed dark, she just seemed to weak and frail. I tried not to talk at first- to avoid the awkwardness that hung in the air around us, but I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

"Where do you live?" I ask, softly and she stiffens her shoulders for a minute- other then that there is no reaction.

"In a house, I suppose." Is her muffled reply.

Har, Har, Har. I never knew what the comedian she was..

"No, really. I don't want you having to walk extra.."

She sighs. "Damien... I'm going to lead you to Noah's- and then I'm going home, before I cause a heart attack. Now please, stop with the questions- just.. hold your breath or something. I'm exhausted."

And when she lifts her eyes to me, I feel like a mask has fallen away- because she suddenly _did _look exhausted. Her eyes seemed to be darker, her forehead was wrinkled slight with that expression she was making- of half pleading and pain. I caused that expression.. because I was the first person to push her so much.

Not really with my pathetic attempts of her liking me, or me talking to her- but with Noah. I can't say how much Noah had pushed this girl and then with my ploys.. and that question that did her in... was I really the first person to knock her off her high horse?

Or had something else happened yesterday? Was she really sick- or was that another excuse? Was my pestering only so effective because something else had hit her, something bigger, something that's left her this exhausted and sensitive?

I couldn't believe this hadn't even hit me before. If she was lying to me before- then why not even before _that_? Was Hope a compulsive liar? Does anyone ever hear truth from this girl..?

She begins walking again, after that short pause and I move to follow but not without muttering. "You confuse me." It was enough to falter her walk.

"I'm easy to get." She whispers.

I shake my head though, the chilly air was starting to get to me- pinching my cheek with the cold. "No you're not. Everyone thinks theirs something-"

"There isn't!" She suddenly insists, her voice still whispering and soft.

"I don't believe you." I say- and it's true. I don't trust a thing this girl says, not anymore. I watch the side of her face with narrowed eyes. She keeps hers on the road ahead. But I can see she is falling to pieces- she's hardly holding on under my questions.

How had I never noticed just how _broken_ Hope was?

Why, why was she so..

I didn't know how to put it. I felt like there were too many answers- too much to say. So much _I _felt bad for doing it, for exposing her weaknesses. It was like someone shattered my idolization for her- actually it just felt like there were two different Hopes. The one who's perfect, who I've always felt below- and then there is this one, who stumbles in her walk, whose expression looks as if in a second it could twist into anguish, who looked around her district as if it was one big tragedy- who was ashamed of someone seeing this place.

The same one I craved to help. I felt a strange urge to clutch her to my chest and never let her go. It wasn't like all those other times- when I wanted to because I thought it would be amazing to withhold the love of someone so wonderful. Now it was a nurturing thing- I wanted her to be okay again, I didn't like seeing her nearly falling a part.

The mystery of Hope now.. was not why she's so perfect.. but why she is so broken, damaged...

It was more concerning to me this way and on the rest of the walk, I couldn't look away from her. I was waiting for her to look back at me- she didn't. I was waiting for her to ask what I wanted- she wouldn't. I was waiting for something to hit me, for something to tell me I'm wrong- it never came.

We stopped in front of a fairly decent house- something similar to mine. It was only a few years old, it was not well painted, but kindly built. The lights were on inside, curtains drawn and there was no yard just a small paved stone path melded into the concrete that led to the front door.

"This is it." Hope says.

"Thank you." I walk up towards the door, suddenly nervous- would I be turned away? I paused though half way there, looking to Hope who stood staring at me. "Are you going home?" I ask, not really wanting her there to watch this unfortunate seen to unfold.

She nods curtly, but her eyes are glued on mine- and I can't find it in myself to turn away first. Her expression remained undisguised and exhausted. It was such a long awkward silence- I swear I heard voices from inside the house behind me.

But finally she says something, in only a soft voice.

"Don't bother, Damien." I stiffened at her emotionless tone. "It's not worth it. Trust me, you don't like me- you think you do. Everyone does, just..." Her eyes break contact, looking to the left towards the ground- her voice because sad. "Just forget it. It hardly matters. You and Noah are wrong.."

The wind picked up, I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise- I shivered jerkily. But her scarf and hair caught in the current, swirling around her face. The sun had sunken beyond the tall buildings, and there was only a mist, grayness around us.

"I want to help you." I say, not really knowing what I meant.

And she shakes her head sadly. "With what?" She quips. "There is nothing the _matter. _I'm just.."

"Just what?" I demand, when she doesn't continue.

She shrugs, not meeting my gaze. Then she turns and starts to walk away, she's heading back the way we came- I frown because I don't know much of the town or short cuts, but I'm rather sure that it leads back to low town.

She was half way around the next corner when I shout after her. "Will you come see me tomorrow?"

The words echo back at me, in the empty street- but her head lifts slightly, her stubborn chin turns to look over her shoulders and I swear I saw a nod...

But I couldn't be sure and once it passed she was gone around that corner. I was left to turn towards Noah's house, take a deep breath- and pray for a place to stay..

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><p><em><strong>AN: **Completely UNEDITED! Leave it alone- I'll fix it later, I'm going to bed. Sorry it's short. I hope to see reviews when I wake up! Thank you for other reviewers. -Taryn(: _


	4. Clues

Chapter 4- "Clues"

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><p>Noah let me stay. I wasn't really surprised- well <em>she <em>certainly was when I came knocking on her door. She nearly shrieked in surprise upon opening the door. But I soon found out Noah had no father- only a mother, the two of them who lived quite comfortably in their little home.

They're very much alike. Both in looks and personality. Kind, smiley, bubbly, talkative. I hardly got a word in over the meal that they had shared with me, generously. The house was warmer then outside- heated by a stove, and they gave me piles of blankets to sleep with on the living room coach.

There was only one awkward moment though- when her mother took a moment to look stern and tell us to behave ourselves. If you get my meaning..

Noah giggled like mad, shaking her head- as I flushed scarlet.

After enjoying my discomfort Noah murmured that _she _wasn't my object of affection. Then there was a wink, raised eyebrows, and a whisper- course her mother broke out into grin. Teetering like her own daughter, she was a teen still- even though she was at least forty.

Before I went off to sleep there was a small debate about my clothes. Her mother was concerned I would get sick with not being dressed properly, and of course since they had no man in the house- I would have to go borrow some clothes from a neighbor of theirs. Who turns out to be Caleb, living just down the street- Noah said we'd be heading over there in the morning.

I slept soundly through the night. The coach creaked and was springy- but I wasn't complaining, not in my mounds of blankets! And when I was woken up with the smell of sweet, mouth watering cinnamon- I couldn't help but be pleased with my new best friend, Noah.

I can see why Hope keeps her around..

Bleary eyed, and stumbling- I found my way to the kitchen.

"Oh, you're up!" Miss. Orr exclaims, flashing me a smile as she looked up from the cooking she worked over. "I hope I didn't wake you- I tried to be quiet. Did you sleep well?"

I yawn, and nod. "Yes, thank you. I was out in seconds. I really appreciate you letting me sta-"

"Nonsense!" She insists, indicating a hand towards a seat at the small table beside the kitchen. "Anyone of Noah's friends are always welcome here. Now come sit, I made you breakfast. Noah's not up yet, though I don't expect her to be until at least ten."

Her eyes flicker to the clock on the wall that read sometime late of nine in the morning. I slid into the short chair, as she placed the plate of food in front of me. I was delicious. The smells came off it in creeping wafts- filling my mouth with saliva.

"Thank you." I say, but I make no move to eat it- I watch her and wait for her to sit also. She had busied herself in the kitchen again and I cleared my throat. "Are you not eating?" I ask.

Her grin falters- but then her eyes warm up as she looks up at me. "Oh no, I've already eaten- there's no need to wait for me. And don't worry about Noah, go ahead."

Hesitantly I took my first bite. It was just as good as I thought it would be and I found myself picking up pace- the hot food burning my tongue, until it was nearly all but gone.

That's when I hear the stumbling footsteps. I look up to see a half asleep Noah, with a tangled bun on the top of her head and clothes that swallowed her thin form, of sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt.

I grin at her disgruntled- unmorning person face.

"Sleep well?" I tease, as her mother places a plate in front of her also.

"Meeh." Is her reply- through a mouth full of food.

My smile grows and then Miss. Orr suggests that I take a shower, insists that I do before any of them- since they tend to take longer and Noah was eating. So I ended up quickly cleansing myself, though the shower was smaller then I expected (well I don't what I expected from two short woman in the first place) but I had to slouch the whole time.

After that I dressed in the clothes I had- jeans and T-shirt. While Noah showered I tidied the living room. And when she came back she was cleaner- wearing jeans, a heavy jacket, and a scarf tightly bound around her neck, under the layers of short brown hair.

Her usually perkiness was back in full.

"So.. you're here on a whim- and you think Hope is a compulsive liar, you made her cry, and.."

"I think she's related to a woman named Keera Grooves." I finish for her, and her grin widens- but then she frowns as she takes in my clothes.

"You're gonna be cold, I don't know if Caleb will have any spare jackets that'll fit you." She scrutinizes my figure, comparing it to Caleb's shorter one no doubt. "But we'll just see. He isn't that far, just about four houses down. He won't mind."

After a quick goodbye to her mom, I follow her out of the house. It's around eleven thirty now and the sun is high in the sky. The sunlight glitters over the black sludge in the streets, but only thin strips of the light peek through the gray clouds over head. They threaten snow, but for now there is only a fine chill hanging in the air.

I'm already shivering and gooseflesh crawls up my arms by time me and Noah make it down to the house. It looks hardly different from her own. If one thing, maybe it is a little larger- but otherwise the concrete is infinite.

The knock on the door is answered by the footsteps, practically prancing towards the door- the door is flung back to reveal the boy, Caleb, grinning. He takes me in with no surprise though and greets us ecclesiastically.

"Noah!" He exclaims, swooping forward and placing a kiss on her cheek. "I was waiting for you to come. Are we still gonna go visit the fort later? Grant called earlier and wanted to know."

"Of course, don't mind if this tourist tags along though, do you?" She nudges me in the ribcage playfully and I smile earnestly at the boy.

"Nope, fine with me." Caleb replies, but he looks over my shirt and I take in his bundled jacket and scarf- he even has gloves hanging out of his pockets, the thin kind. "You gonna be warm enough?"

I open my mouth- but Noah always seems to beat me. "Actually that's why we're here, you don't have any extra jackets do you?"

He seemed to ponder this for a moment, and I tried not to flinch when an especially icy wind roared to life against my back. Then he nods. "I think I do, something of my dads- he's off on business in the Capitol now, but I'm sure he won't mind at all."

Noah grins, hooking an arm through mine- as he leads us into the house. As we transition from the entry way to the living room- soft voices carry to my ears from the kitchen. I raise an eyebrow at Noah behind Caleb's back but I see her smile has suddenly fallen. And then we step onto the white tiles of the kitchen's floor, there standing before us is a short, tan, pretty woman with sharp facial features- I assumed this to be Caleb's mother, Tera.

Across from her though, leaning against the counter between them, her hair pulled back into a side braid of threaded gold, her eyes bright, and holding a mug of hot coffee- is Hope. The two of them were leaning towards each other- appearing to have a pleasant conversation.

Hope's back goes ridged at the sight of me.

Otherwise the mother lifts her eyes to mine and they are kind, not as girlish as Noah's mothers- but Tera's show me that she is like my own mother, one who was closely tied to the tragedy of our nations past. Who's grown passed the hate, who's trying to forget their own bitterness...

"Who's this?" She ask, looking to Caleb with obvious adoration. "You have a new friend?"

Her son shrugs. "He's from District 4." and then he flourishes a hand between us. "Damien this is my mom, Tera. Mom this is Damien."

My smile doesn't even cut half of how bright hers is. I'm distracted by the way Hope is staring determinedly out the window, sipping from her mug only occasional. Does she always come here in the mornings? Had she spent the night here? No, she was changed. I wondered when she had come here though..

Caleb explained to his mother that I needed to borrow a coat and she relented easily. I was given a nice, comfortable gray jacket- that fit nicely. There was some small talk, where she asked me about my family, their jobs, and how they are getting along with this new nation. Traditional things that Noah's mother asked me over dinner last night. It just felt different because I knew Hope was hearing it.

Once that was over with, Caleb told his mother that we were gonna go to Grant's (where ever that is) and then head out to the fort. Hope was invited, she agreed with a small smile, and I felt my stomach do flips as Noah dropped my arm and retreated to her best friend. Hope accepted Noah's new attachment and it was like with me- the fight was forgotten.

The girls took lead, with me and Caleb walking behind them slowly. We were heading away from the square- they convinced me that this was a short cut through the old victors village and to the mid-town houses where this Grant lives. While the girls were doing their own whispering- Caleb filled me on this kid. Apparently he's just this younger boy the three of them usually hang out with, he was only about fifteen and Caleb's cousin- son of Alex, Tera's bother.

They wanted to take me to the 'fort'. I don't know what they mean and every time I ask Noah hushes them and giggles- telling me it's a surprise. Hope and Caleb didn't seem all to amazed with the prospect of going to the.. 'fort' but Noah I guess was just always enthused.

Hope seemed in fine spirits- but I couldn't help but feel like it was all false, and that is was dimmer then usual. She hasn't met my eyes once. Only spoke a little and as we got further into the walk she fell all silent.

The victors village was just as gray as everything else of the district. I looked around though- at all the empty houses. Every single one of them was locked up, windows shuttered, lights off. None of them looked lived in, or taken care of.

As we passed one, close to it's front porch, Caleb rapped his knuckles against a rail to the stairs. The thin layer of ice on it quickly fell away but I found myself staring at the house- wondering if any of those five victors of District 8 had ever lived in there. Had Keera? I kind of felt my heart sink at the thought that the woman would be dead now- seeing as all these houses were empty. That, or she remains in a different district or the Capitol...

I wondered if Hope knew..

She held an air of indifference to the area we were in. She looked straight ahead- not glancing at any of them once. Her hands were thrust deep into her dark blue coat pocket, but I swear they were curled into fists. Strays of loose hair from her braid fly around her soft face-

Noah pauses to wipe some sludge from her boots, and I strut forward at this chance- boldly matching Hope's stride and asking. "How was your night? Did you make it home back in time?"

"It was nice." She still looks ahead, but shows a smile. "I was home before ten, so no worries really."

"Oh? Your mom wasn't worried at all?" I inquire.

This I know I saw- her pale cheeks tinge with red. "My mom wasn't worried in the least." Is her quiet reply, but she doesn't need to be concerned about Noah and Caleb hearing- they were diving into their own conversation, with heedless flirting.

"Well I'm glad you didn't get in trouble for my expense." I say, and I wait for a response- but there is none so I try another conversation topic. "So.. what is this fort?"

This she scoffs to a little. "It isn't a fort- that is just what people like to call it. It's just a rundown crumbling thing, that the rebels used to meet in. there are a few campfires around it. It's only a few hundred yards outside the gates. It really isn't that interesting.. just the only thing people can say holds any significance around here."

Her words are meant to be stinging, as if the place offends her. "Does it mean anything to you?" I ask.

"No." Her voice immediately replies, but then she glances behind herself- towards Noah and she sighs. "Yes."

_Now _we're getting somewhere. I lean towards her side a little more. "Why's that?"

She considers this for a moment, shifting her weight as she walks- which you'd think would be difficult but she is quite good at it. "It..." She pauses, and seems to really maul this over. Her eyes lift to stare insistently into mine suddenly- I try not too look away first. "It's a place I don't like to visit. It makes me think of things- I rather wish I could forget."

"Like what?" I murmur, truly interested- but she looked away already, her face becomes indifferent again.

"Nothing that matters to you."

God she makes me want to yell! _Of course it matter to me! _How else am I suppose to help you, Hope? When I don't understand? When you say things like this, and then cut me off? And considering I still don't know this boy you're hiding...

The rest of the walk was quiet- and then we meet up with that boy Grant. He looks a bit like Caleb actually, but a lot more like Tera. It was strange. But he was a sarcastic little thing- full of laughter- and within minutes he had Hope grinning and sputtering with giggles. So he was on my approved list immediately.

Hope was right about how unimpressive this fort was. It was mostly just a crumbling square building, with a dirty (forest?) surrounding area. Noah began to poke through a pile of interesting looking stuff, the younger boy Grant was messing with it too- trying to catch Noah's pretty attention. Caleb stood back with Hope laughing at the pair- while I looked around at the sickly plants.

I wandered away from them, approaching the building. It was cracking, and concrete- just like the district. But as I entered there was an ancient looking table standing there, with three chairs and a fourth faded and broken laying on the ground.

The rest of it was empty, as if they had cleared it out. It was filthy though, as if homeless people took regular shelter here. I was looking around at a pile of old looking rags when Hope drew up to my side- she was staring at the table thoughtfully.

"What do you think?" She asks, nonchalantly.

I shrug, looking at her face sadly- as I see she is strained behind that mask. "Why do you hate it here?"

"I don't." Her legs bend and she plucks the rag off the ground- it turned out to be an old blanket. Her fingers brush over it softly- her eyes close almost painfully. "It's not the place- but the memories."

"Memories?" I echo, dumbly. What did she mean? The ancient memory of the rebels that lived here? Or.. more recent ones?

Her eyes pop back open and they are filled with guilt. "Damien?" She whispers, and I step closer unconsciously- she tries to shrink away but she continues to say something as if she didn't really want to ask, as if she was scared to say- and like she had been holding it back for so long. And not just for me, but from everyone. "What if.. what if I'm not the angel you want me to be? What if I've made stupid mistakes in the past?"

My throat gets tight, and a high pitched squeal from outside lets me know that Noah is enjoying her time- but I can hardly look into the hazel eyes staring up at me. They are nearly pleading. The gold in them is striking, like the blinding sun. I struggled to find an answer, I couldn't think- what was she saying? That she is.. bad? I couldn't buy it. Mistakes though, everyone makes mistakes- so that's what I told her. But she only shakes her head.

"Not these kinds, Damien. I've.. hurt people- people who didn't deserve to be torn a part like that. It was cruel of me... I-" Her voice catches and she drops her head, staring at the floor. "You would hate me."

"Hate you?" I nearly laughed at this and her face snaps back up in shock. "Why? And who could you hurt? I've never seen you cruel.. I don't buy it. St-"

Her hand reaches out for mine and her fingers tighten around it. "You don't believe me?" She demands.

I nod. "Not in the least." I don't she has to be making this up now, like before with the excuses.

Then she drops her hands and she sighs heavily- eyes looking to the wall. "Then I am too good at what I do." She murmurs and starts to walk away.

I make to follow. "What do you mean?"

She stops me with a raised hand and her voice is muffled nearly to silence when she replies. "A game."

Before I could have her elaborate she is slipping out and back with the others. She replaces that mask with a blinding grin- joining into the laughter that I don't even think she knows to what it came from.

To my dismay the rest of the morning was spent here, running around the forest. We played some traditional games, but I never got another chance to talk to Hope at all. As it was rounding to around three we headed back into the district- and it was busy with life now. People were about, we stuck to upper town and the square so I didn't see any of those unlucky homeless people. We ate in town- Grant bought us all lunch (apparently his father is rich, working for District 1).

We sat around mostly- other kids around the district came over to us. Most of them greeted Noah, with a hug or some with a peck on the cheek. She was all smiles and kind words, nothing like the Hope I'd seen. Nothing at all like that new Hope I was beginning to see sometimes... and I couldn't really say which one I liked better.

Noah mostly stuck to my side after the fort. She told me about the people that kept coming around. I was greeted weirdly by some, with uncertain looks and raised eyebrows. Otherwise the experience was nice. I enjoyed this more then I thought I would in District 11. Even is it felt like my ears were freezing off. I felt bad for ditching my friends- but I can't say I regretted this. Because I suddenly felt like the only one who knew the real Hope. Where as at the beginning of the week you could have asked her about me- and she would have looked confused.

Grant was laughable, Caleb was sweet, and Noah was just hilarious to watch. Hope was warm and the same Hope I had known for the last two years- not the last two days.. and I must say I just wish I could know the other one. Even if she thinks I would hate her, that she was a terrible person. I wanted to tell her she's wrong, that she could never be terrible. But then I remember what she said those two words. 'A game.'

What did they mean? What could she be referring to? She was _good_ at it?

I tried to get these questions in all through the day. But everything was so crowd and we kept going around to shop from shop. Noah was a whirl wind of energy- Grant nearly as much. Caleb was the amused sort and Hope tried to stick with Noah- so I couldn't talk. I had a lot of fun despite the lack of talking to Hope.

She is fun though, not a mope fest- I just felt like I was missing something, that's why I keep thinking of her negatively.

Saturday ended too soon for my liking- I learned not enough, and Noah had only asked her once about the mystery guy- to which Hope just rolled her eyes and said there was none. It ended with us watching Grant head home and then Hope walking first Caleb and then me and Noah to our doors.

It was nearly eight at night, already pretty dark but she waved away my offer to walk her home. Told me not to worry about it. Then after making sure we were inside- she left. I felt exhausted after today's constant walking around, and my lungs straining to filter oxygen out of this thick air- after a beautifully cooked dinner from Miss. Orr I went straight off to bed- praying tomorrow I get the answers I need. Because two days, just seemed like an impossibly short amount of time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**: What do you guys think Hope is hiding? What does she mean..? Who knows- but the chapter after the next will be from her POV. I'm excited, I don't know about you, but thanks for reading. Please review. -Taryn(:_


	5. Check Mate

Chapter 5- "Check Mate"

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><p>"Will she be hanging out with us at all today?" I whisper- low enough and close enough to Noah's ear that Caleb and Grant couldn't hear.<p>

Noah shrugs, munching on a chip. "Probably not- she's always busy on Sunday."

"Doing what?" I hiss, but Noah is unable to answer because Grant suddenly jumps up crying in victory.

"In your face!" His voice rings- a finger pointing at Caleb and his carefully unamused expression. "Finally. I told you I could beat you."

The chess board in between them showed that Grant had just claimed an easy win. Noah was applauding the young boy from her spot sitting criss cross on the coach, above those on the floor. I sat next to her- staring out the near by window.

I manage to give Grant some sort of smile when he looks up expectantly with his big brown eyes. Otherwise my mind is else where. Not with a chess game or with Noah and her big bowl of food seated in her lap. I'm staring into the flurry of snow outside.

It was too cold to do much, so we were cooped up with the warm stove, Miss. Orr's cooking, and board games. Noah's convinced me that this is no way for me to have seen District 8- she and Caleb beg me to come back sometime in the summer. I plan on it, my father would let me... I just wish to stay longer, that school wouldn't come.

Apparently (and I was never told before) Hope doesn't ever appear on Sundays. It's become something of common knowledge to all those who know her. Noah shrugs it away as if- 'Yeah, duh, Hope doesn't exists on Sundays.'- and Caleb says it as if it was a relaxation day for the girl. Grant says it all pouting- while Noah's mom and Tera tells it as if it is tradition that they have no idea why it started or what it represents.

All in all no one seems to care Hope disappears every Sunday.

It's been like that for years and that's what drives me mad... was she with the guy? Was she.. playing that 'game' she mentioned?

I didn't understand what she referred to. Did she mean herself in general? Did she mean everyone else? The whole concept of life itself?

I'm over thinking it. But I wanted nothing more then to go out in that haze of snow to find her. Even if I was wearing only a T-shirt and jeans.. I'd be okay with getting hypothermia if I got answers in return.

Drastic, I know.

Noah and Caleb keep trying to lull me into playing chess- but I'm no good at it. Plus I don't feel like it, all I do is bounce my foot and watch the weather- just waiting for the snow to stop so I could lure them all outside, and I could be searching for a sight of Hope.

I didn't look up for a long time until I felt the coach shift under me. Noah was getting up and slipping onto the ground, intent on the game board as Caleb and Grant went into another round- making it about the ten billionth one.

Bored, I stand also- but slip unnoticed around the coach and then slink into the kitchen. Noah's mother is in there. I smile at her as she looks up from a book, that is propped on the table in front of her.

She returns it and then raises an eyebrow. "What's the matter? Are you feeling okay?

I shrug, standing awkwardly over by the table- until she nods me into the chair across her. I stumble to sit, the mumble a light reply. "I'm fine."

"You look upset."

I stare into her eyes, they aren't the bright blue that Noah has, but they are still blue- and I felt like they had the same negotiation skills her daughter did.

"Just thinking about things- I keep hitting dead ends." It was truth enough.

But she suddenly takes interest, setting aside her book and leaning forward. "What are you thinking about?"

I sigh, because I should of known- she isn't like my mother who is satisfied with half explanations. They only make her more curious and now she is all motherly- willing to help me. She may be like Noah but she's defiantly not someone I'm going to tell all my... girl trouble.

"Just you know, normal stuff." I shrug nonchalantly, lifting my eyes to the window outside. My hands fidget on the table though, I can't help it.

"It's about Hope isn't it?" She says a moment later- I snap my gaze to her. She sits straighter a amused and satisfied look on her face. "I'm right aren't I?"

I nod, curtly, and she grins.

"Well what is it? What are these dead ends? Maybe I could help you." She shoots off, looking just as perky as Noah at the prospect of setting me and Hope up.

"Well.." I couldn't believe I was doing this. "Don't you ever wonder what she's doing on Sundays?"

She nods, having been prepared for this question. Though she seems to really consider it by that tone in her voice. "I've thought about it. And it hasn't been every Sunday since I've known little Hope. It didn't start until she at least ten. Started repeating itself every Sunday- first I thought she was attending those religious things that have started up with the new freedom... but they had no idea who she was when I asked." There was a considered pause before she met my gaze. "I was concerned about it at first, but I know if any girl was wondering alone around here and was completely safe in doing so- it'd be Hope. Course though I guess I've just assumed she was with her family."

"Family?" I respond, thinking of Keera. I lean forward against the table on my elbows. "Have you met her family before?"

She shakes her head. "Oh heavens no." There was a sad expression crossing her face. "Tera told me that I should never mention it- not even to Noah. Because you never know with that girl.. and of course Tera didn't want to tell Caleb, but Hope doesn't have parents."

The fact struck me, but for a moment it wasn't odd. Then I recalled the way she blushed- when I had mentioned her mother. She talked of her as if she was still around though... it was concerning, why would she hide it?

"You won't tell anyone will you?" I nod quickly, and Miss. Orr smiles in relief. I wouldn't tell anyone, I'm surprised she told me- but I guess there's a different between best friend and what I try to maintain with Hope.. I would never bring it up really- why? Why would I want to make Hope remember that?

"Do you know if she was related to a woman named Keera Grooves?" I ask now, watching her face closely and her eyes widen slightly.

"Her mother." I stiffen my shoulders- she's confirmed my fear. I _did _mention it to Hope. I sprang it on her. I felt my heart sink slightly.

"Do you know.. how?" I whisper, trying not to look away from her face.

Noah's mother shook her head. "Tera only told me little. She looked very sad about mentioning it- I believe she knew them."

It made sense why she favored Hope now. Maybe Tera was her parent's friend, maybe Hope reminded her of them. Hope kept those people alive to Tera, maybe she treated the parent's bad- maybe this is how she redeemed the behavior she regretted now..

I wondered what Hope knew of their past relationship. I wonder if the woman was always nice to her- or it was a recent thing. I wanted to see Hope so badly..

"Do you have any other questions?"

My thoughts race to find one, I can't really see any thing that she would know...

"Do you know where she lives?" I ask, respectfully- and as unstalker like as possible.

She shakes her head. Damn...

"Do you know who raised her? Since her parents.."

There was a audible draw of a breath, she pursed her lips and her foot tapped. "Well..." She began kind of lightly, uncertainly.

"Well?" I press.

"Well... Tera mentioned a couple that took her. But when she said it- it was through clenched teeth. I didn't know if she hated the couple or if she was lying... oh I'm just not sure." There was another pause before she mumbled even more question like. "I remember there was a drama a few years back concerning this. Noah missed it completely- and I think I only caught a glimpse of it."

I felt myself raise for a good bait- hoping for something good. I tried to simmer the excitement in my eyes but it seeped through my voice. "What?"

"A man." She murmurs, softly. "Broke into Tera's house. All I know is I remember shouting- of both Hope's name and Caleb's.. I think. Though I don't think Caleb had anything to do with it." Her eyes turn to the arch way into the living room, staring sweetly at the Caleb in there. "I didn't see the man, just heard all the yelling- and the banging, then the glass when he broke that window. He sounded panicked to me, worried about Hope."

_Where_ in Gods forsaken name are all these mysterious men in Hope's life coming from?

A man, first seen hugging her. Another worried about her enough to break into a house, shouting. Maybe they were the same, maybe they weren't. Maybe I'm too late to win her affection- maybe she's stuck in a triangle I have no idea exists. Maybe one of them are her adopted parent and I'm over assuming things...

I rub my temple suddenly- the questions keep coming, the more answers Miss. Orr gives me. I feel like nothing can ever be settled. Not until Hope gets here, not until she answers them fully- with truth.

"Thank you." I say, standing up and giving a waning smile. "That helps." _Sorta._

I walk away then, back into the living room- leaving her to her book. I slouch next to the window sill though- instead of the coach, waiting for the snow to stop.

* * *

><p>After a long lunch, more games, a few bored hours of actually doing homework- and then debating with Noah's mother if it was still snowing out... we were finally let outside.<p>

It was just an hour before six, and it was actually still snowing a bit- but with the jacket Caleb let me borrow again it wasn't too bad.

I kept shifting my gaze through the crowd of people. Looking for her face. It never popped up. Instead I was distracted by the stores, and their knick knacks. We roamed around and with the freedom of walking my legs- I worked off a lot of tension. I stuck to Grant's laughable side, while Noah and Caleb followed much more slowly.

I heard her giggle enough to know that he was entertaining her well...

We were all heading down the sidewalk, back towards Noah's house- as it was well near eight now. With two hours of wandering and my pockets full of new things, a new scarf wrapped around my neck, and my wallet empty of any money. I was looking forward to returning to a beautifully made meal that Miss. Orr would have for us... when I spotted her.

I don't know how. She had a scarf pulled up all the way to her nose, and a hat tucked around her ears- every last string of hair tucked up and away. Her body was bulked with the jacket and her jeans were nearly camouflage in the crowd.

The ever telling factor were her eyes.

Oh and the man, whose arm was hooked through hers... he could probably be factored into the equation about how I'm shocked I saw her at all. Since he was pretty much _my _giant height- but thicker, broad shouldered, and strong faced.

No jealousy hit me when I saw their arms hooked together and they were actually talking behind their scarfs. Friendly talking..

I wasn't jealous. Mostly because the man had enough lines on his face- he had to be in his late fifties- and he hunched while she was half helping him stumble through the icy sludge. And who is jealous of a fifty year old man on the arm of the girl you like?

Not me. But I nearly ran from my spot, I left Grant and he hardly noticed- I just melted into the street, heading across the way.. where she was.

She was walking in the opposite direction though and I was having trouble getting through. I kept getting shoved aside, we were in the middle of town and people were just leaving a late days at work, they were aggravated and hungry.. I was just in their way.

I fought my way after them and by the time I got through, I spotted her standing outside a shop- the man was no where in sight. So I picked up pace and approached her, I was nearly two feet away when her eyes lifted to me.

"Damien!" She gasps, and a hand flies up to her chest- as if I've given her heart attack. Her eyes are wide but then they are flying around everywhere, mostly in the shop until they are back on my face. "What are you doing here?" She demands, softly.

"I wanted to talk to you.." I start, trying not to be offended by the way she obviously didn't want me here. But what did I expect? "You said something yesterday and I.."

"Forget it. You should get out of here- I'm busy." Her voice is a forced calm and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Go back."

"Where?" I snap instantly, slightly irritated now. I was waiting all day, patheticly, and she was trying to force me away. I'm not going to accept it.

"Back to Noah! Back to District 4! Away from me!" She hisses, in a whisper. Why did she always whisper? Did she think someone was eavesdropping everywhere? Was she paranoid and a compulsive liar?

Oh and those words stung like hell- but I numbed them out with the bitter cold wind flowing around us.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here.." I reach forward then, like she had yesterday, but I was softer then her and I caught her gloved hand. Running my thumb over her knuckles. I felt her shudder- but she didn't pull away. "Can't you just.. tell me what's the matter? Why, do I feel like you'r-"

That's when the shop door opened and that huge man came hobbling out. Hope froze like a deer in headlights. The man's seam eyes zone in on our hands extended between us.

His eyes lift to her and her wide eyes show bewildered- he raises an eyebrow. Then he is glaring at me and he smacks away my arm with one of his meaty hands. "What do you think you're doing boy!" He shouts, and I flinch- while I see Hope sigh, as if in relief.

The man steps between me and Hope, hiding her from me, like he was a shield.

"Get lost you scoundrel!" He shakes a fist at me, he looks only half angry at me. But there was a true threat in his eyes. "She don't need none of your trouble- get! Go!"

I stare at him, and then try to peer behind him when suddenly his voice is booming. "You better get moving now, or you'll be sorry- never show your face round here again. My people- you don't know who you're mes-"

Then it is as if Hope was shocked back to herself because suddenly she slips up to the man's side and she takes his arm delicately into hers, whispering soothingly. "Uncle, please. He's no threat- just another sap. Now let's get home before little ones starve, okay?" Her voice is like she is talking to a child- or an old man who has lost half his wit..

The man still glares at me. Uncle? Truly? They look nothing alike. He listens to her though and grumbles things under his breath- making fun of my appearance, they turn away from me. I'm left more confused then ever...

Little ones? What? Children? Were they just made up- for his tangled mind? Did she have siblings? Was _this _the adopted father of hers?

More questions- more and more questions...

But then she looks back, over shoulder- half was down the street.

She mouths. "_Sorry_." And then she turns back around.

Was this what she does every Sunday? Take care of this old man? Maybe she had nothing to do with the 'little ones'.

I stood there for awhile, until finally I turned away- walking back to Noah's.

When I arrived I was greeted with a bunch of shouts from her and her mother, ranging from glee to stern worry. Once that was over with I got a cold dinner, sat on the coach thinking over today, and its added mystery, before finally I drifted into sleep. I sunk into a strange dream though, almost immediately- I was with Hope, and she was dressed up like a tribute, all fancy and beautiful on those opening ceremonies. She had a crown of diamonds on her head though, like a princess. She sung me a song- I don't remember it much, but she was telling me not to cry and then she kissed my cheek, with tears on her face. It ended with her whispering two words, that chilled me- "Game over."

And then she proceeded to back away from me until she was standing at the top of a cliff- I reached out for her, a desperate adrenaline kicked into my heart- but she fell or I thought she did, I woke with a jolt before it ended- gasping for breath.

Note to self: Don't ever let Hope near cliffs..

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><p><em><strong>AN**: What does the dream mean? ABSOLUTLY NOTHING. Probably just that Damien should stop going to sleep thinking about her. Anyway TO EVERYONE!: THERE IS NO, NONE- NADA! ZILTCH between Noah and Damien. NO NOAH x DAMIEN. NEVER, EVER. They aren't even meant together, they are only friends. Hope and him! Him and Hope! You'll see... once you really know her.. Anyway thanks for reading. Please review! Next chapter will come quicker if you do AND it's from Hope's POV- so you'll be getting a LOT of answers. (Ignore my typos, I'm typing in the dark) -Taryn(:_


	6. Hope Speaks

Chapter 6- "Hope Speaks"

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><p>All my life it is as if I've been playing a game. Ever since I was a child, year after year, days on end.. minute upon minute.<p>

It's a simple game, anyone can play it- I know all the rules by heart. Most people would call it playing Pretend.. what I like to call it Dying a Little More Each Day.

It started when I was five. When my adopted parents took me in their arms and told me tales of a woman, a great woman- with great beauty. In these tales she bested the darkness of a Capitol. I began to dream of this woman... her name was Keera Grooves.

She was an idle to me. Pippa, my mother at the time, she told me I looked like her- I was beyond delighted. My father, Fray- he would whisper behind Pippa's back, telling me a racy bit of info. About her lover, a great man. A man who fought with his soul not with his fists- he began to join the woman in my dreams..

That was my early childhood. I lived in the victors house, the same house Keera had owned- it was mine now. Pippa told me they gave it to me. It was mine, the whole of it. Pippa and Fray were the parents, but my older sister, Aven- she told me about the woman too.

How the woman saved her life. How she's also saved mine- to the greatest extent.

My older brother though... he never stuck around to listen. He would turn his nose up at what they say- scoff whenever Fray complimented Keera. He would roll his eyes when Aven said Caleb was a innocent man.

I was too young to realize why.. I was too naive to realize- that out of all of them, he was the only one right.

It wasn't until me eighth birthday though before I realized this.

To me, at the moment in time, Keera Grooves and Caleb Clarke were almost a dream. They were powerful people that I would never know- and up until that year they neglected to tell me, that she was my mother, he my father.

I was squealing at first, I was jumping around, like the over excited child I was- until Jack said something- not in front of Pippa and Fray, but to me in private. He came to sit by me on the victor house porch.

"You do realize they were the bad guys, right?" He says, matter of fact.

I objected, I treated him like he was crazy- but then he took out books, history books. He showed me the way my mother helped the Capitol, told me of how my father was taken prisoner- by both rebels and Capitol. Telling me that he was just a horrid man neither side could choose. How they flipped around from each side. How she went insane before my birth- how it led to their death.

It wasn't as pretty the picture as Fray painted for me. The sacrifice for me. But somehow... it made it seem more real.

Years pass, two of them. Since then my brother, well he isn't really my brother- we aren't related. He told me that truth- the same one my adopted parents neglected to tell me. Aven was quiet about the truth, it angered me. And he kept showing me new evidence.

On my tenth birthday he acquired tapes of her Games, of the one they were both in.

All those children she killed... and that boy, Blake, my father's brother... I didn't understand half of it. I was half traumatized by the sights I've never seen before. All that.. blood, and those things they did to each other. Ripping, cutting, throwing.. I was nearly sobbing by the end of them.

In the last one I saw the man named Caleb. He ignored my mother. It was what dealt me a stinging blow- and Jack too, I knew he watched these before, he was waiting for me to see them. He went through the same thing before me, figuring out the blatant lies our family told us... he was relived to not be alone in his anguish anymore.

I weep for days afterward. My idols were poisoned, my mother was crazy, broken and my father was nothing more then a prisoner. I worried Aven and Pippa- Fray was frantic. I _hated_ them. They were filth, they lie to me, they fill me with hope- a hope they drowned on about and had made me proud of me. Now I was ashamed of the title.

Jack hated them just as much. He was beyond that point, I was only ten at the time and he was fifteen. I was so upset, he was so angry. We left- we ran away.

The first month out, where we scarcely managed to avoid all those looking for us. The family of course, and Tera, a woman who used to love my father- the only reason I can sum any respect for her was because she hates my mother almost as much as me.

The game though, the game was always present. Because I still went to school, I still saw people around town- and I couldn't let them known. I couldn't bare to let them see.

I was so ashamed of who my parents were, so disgusted with my adopted family.

That's how the game started- pretending everything was perfect. Smiling even when I wanted to sob. Laughing when I wanted to break things in rage. Playing friendly when really it stung just to talk.

Constantly composed. Constantly hiding. It was nine months on the streets with Jack, jumping from community homes, sometimes sheltering in the 'fort' against days of rain. I soon found a permanent place though- with a man named Dean.

Dean, I call him my uncle. He knew my parents, he's been homeless since the war though. The new government threw him into the streets with many of the other old rebel fellas who didn't hold much to their names. He was slightly demented and Jack convinced me to take him into our band- it was forming fast. We had other runaways, some homeless families, mostly children.

We took shelter in a factory on the outside of low town. It was like this I lived until finally I muster some courage at twelve- and I returned to that victors house I had begun to hate. I was still so bitter then, so angry- pent up from my years of pretending. Each of those days I suppress a little more of myself, and I feel it fade until I'm losing pieces of myself..

It was like building pressure until I couldn't breath- and I exploded.. on my old family.

I came running up the street, crashing through the door. There was so much screaming.. cursing, mostly mine. They kept trying to calm me- Pippa tried to hug me and I slapped her hard enough I bruised her cheek. Aven was hysterical with me- shouting, angry at the things I said. She idolized Keera still, so stupidly. So dumb, Aven is still not bright...

But back then she tried to tell me that the new government poisoned Keera and Caleb's memory- I rolled my eyes. Jack warned me about their obsession. They couldn't let go, they clung to them as if they could compare to Katniss and Peeta- the real hero's.

I broke things relentlessly, in a fit of rage I went around the house shattering things, kicking, and damaging. In the end Fray had hauled me by my arms down the stairs- he was going to kick me out. I made Pippa and Aven sob in the corner and he was upset also- about the string of curse words I had for the stupid excuse of a _mother _I had.

He called me crazy and then tried to toss me out the door- but I caught them off guard. I had come there for reason. I kicked them out. I designated my right as owner to the house and I stood there until they were forced to pack up and leave. I made them leave their life, I taunted them until they left the district. Pippa and Fray went back to the Capitol- Aven went to the town surrounding the new school.

Then I was alone. With this huge house, and a back full of endless money- all this stuff my parents gave me. I didn't want it. I was sickened by them. I locked up the house, I hid the key- and never returned.

Years pass, I grow. I grow with the help of my new family- of runaways that all have their own story, and Dean, a man I love dearly- like a father I never had. He is half insane but he cares for me- sometimes he calls me my fathers name though, because of my eyes- I don't mind. Even if it makes Jack all hot headed.

People pass through our family, travelers, tourists with no money- old rebels. Each of them sit with us around the fire in our run down factory home. They add a new piece to me each one of them- with a new story, an old tragedy, a bested evil..

Jack grew with me. We became best friends. Then he started to feel more- I don't return it. But he still tries to charm me, he never pushes, he is a surprisingly meek boy- who is scared of anything. He fears betrayal- something similar to what we already suffered.

But at least he isn't stuck like me. At least he can be himself, stay with Dean and the others- travel with them when they do leave District 8. I've not been able to go, I've still one foot in the past. I still love my best friend, Noah, dearly. I still can't completely sever the loose tie I have to Tera and her son, Caleb. I can't leave school... I have to finish- I keep telling my new family that once I'm finished I promise to leave with them. They are impatient. They hate my game just as much as I do..

Game, the game has no point. It is never ending. I need to smile for Noah and my other friends, I need to be helpful and nice. I'm more scared now, then ashamed- for people to find out. To think I'm just as crazy and bad as my parents, for them to look at the ways I've acted. The running away, the kicking out people who have cared for me all my life (lied to me or not). And I never faltered not once, never..

Only with Damien.

Damien... this boy would kill me.

Not if he knew the true me, I don't think he could ever hurt me- that makes it harder. But it _would _kill me if he knew.. it would break me, to let him know. He's one of those many admirers to my game, my fake me. One of the most devoted- I've known for two years. I've noticed him, I've known his name since that first day I found him lost and I helped him find his way..

Now I feel like he is trying to help me find my way.

Because I am lost. I'm confused, I'm making myself sick enough to miss school with this worry with the stress of not knowing where I stand between my two worlds. School and Jack. Noah had caught me and Jack before, only hugging- but it scared me half to death. I don't know why, but she can't know- they would hate me.. they all would.

Tera only knows that I live with Dean now, nothing of why. Noah knows nothing, Caleb knows nothing- everyone knows nothing. And it falls on to me to keep up the game, to make sure I'm playing in top shape to keep balance...

And of course Damien again- hops into the factor.

He brings me to bewilderment- he make my stomach flutter uncomfortably and when he stares into my eyes with those big, minty blue depths.. with those puzzling shapes in them, marked in there with black strikes.. I could stand there staring forever. And when he touches my skin- I can't breath, I feel like running, I feel like embracing him.

And he terrifies me.

He sends my heart to hammering, he makes my mind skip from the game mode to the truth. He frustrates me, because I don't know how much he knows. Noah is blind- I see it- but I don't know what he knows. I thought the first day he just knew about the guy, Jack, and I wasn't worried- but then he said my mothers name, casually. There was more, I knew it- there had to be. I couldn't figure it out. His face revealed nothing...

What did he want from me? Did he wish to break me entirely? Did he want me to expose myself, show him the darkness tell him that I hate Keera- that I didn't want him to ever say that name to me again?

Or was he just seeking my love? Was he seeking me out like those other boys, like Jack is now? It made me hate him a little. I don't want love- I don't need a man, I'm not a pretty thing to mess with. I'm not a perfect girl who wants to be theirs...

But he keeps offering me help, he keeps asking me different questions then from what those other boys would.. Did he really want to help me? Would he really not hate me if I told him?

I stopped those thoughts short. I couldn't let them rule- they blur the rules of the game. And the game was the most important thing right now- if I lose it then I'm lost entirely. Then I'm nothing...

_Damien. Damien, please stop. _I pray internally as I lay across the concrete ground with feeble blankets tucked around me and a girl of ten at me back- while a girl of eight breaths heavily against my chest. Guest with us for the night, until them and their parents hike it up to District 5. I pet the small girls hair with soft fingers. She sleeps soundly.

I feel warmth in my chest for her. I heard their story just a few hours ago, I feel bad now because I had hardly listened- I had run into Damien before that, with Dean. My knuckles were still tingling from his touch, my mind still reeling form the words he said..

Across the room I heard people rolling around, most likely Dean or another past rebel- who usually has nightmares. Remembering those days of guns and fire and death. I revisit sometimes in my dreams- those videos of my retched mother. I wake up screaming sometimes- when I see myself in one of he places of the kids she's killed.

Tonight though, I hardly sleep a wink. I'm up half the night- worried about school tomorrow. Thinking about Damien. Even though I try to force him from my thoughts..

I don't know what my next move is with him. I can't continue to play my game- even though I said I was too good at it.. that was only because he said he didn't believe me when I had told him my first piece of truth. But he was digging himself deeper into my conscience.

When I finally drift off, I'm slipped into a dream. Not a nightmare- no this one was worse. It scares me, it screams an impending betrayal...

His warm and soft lips pressed gently against mine, drawing me from numbness and confusion to a place between sweetness and the edge of a fading dream. I opened my mouth, automatically giving access to be tasted and taste back. I have never been kissed before, my mouth worked on its own- it was not my dream to control. The mouth above mine moved expertly, coercing a response first by softness and then becoming more demanding, more... sensual. With a flash of amused and terrifying awareness I realized I was being seduced.

Then I break away gasping- glimpse those blue eyes and he says to me. "I'm here." The words echo against the shell of my ear, repeating, fading- and then his hand raises to my cheek. Finger tips press into my cheek bone and just like that I flash my eyes open to be met with the darkness of my room, the two girls still around me.

But those words.. those words set my to curling my knees to my chest- my fingers trace my lips. In wonder and fear. But those words! "I_'m here. I'm here, I'm here." _

They repeat themselves in my mind. I was terrified of listening to them- how do I know he isn't as delusional as others? I don't even know him that well.. he could be tricking me..

_I'm here. _

The words were like a breath of fresh air, a promise- but that was make of smoke, that choked my lungs.. blurring together until I couldn't tell the difference between the pain and the relief.

That's when the girl rolls over, and her arms find way around my waist- clinging tightly, her little face burying into my chest. It reminded me that I was still me, that this was truth- not the game.

Damien was on the other side. He was the game, he was to be treated with the fake me. Then I'll leave- just last the rest of the year, until June. Just seven months.. and then I'll leave with my real family. The game can be finished- and those on the game side... stay on the game side.

No matter how there or where they are, Damien isn't allowed in.

No. Not even a little.

Not at all.

He is stuck on that side.

I won't let him- Jack won't- Dean won't..

I wish I would never see him again, that I could forget his face, those eyes.. that I could believe.. _hope _he would stay in the dark...

But... apparently he's already there.. here. On both sides. That's what terrifies me most..

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><p><em><strong>AN**: _What's with all the dreams? Psh, Idk. They're cool, no? Anyway. HOPE HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THE GOODNESS OF YOUR PARENTS? D: (I assume you all are thinking.) But you must picture yourself as her, in this time. Idk if you'll get it, but try to. And she's a bit broken isn't she? A lot more to her then Damien thought.. you'll see what happens! Thanks for reading, PLEASE review. (sorry typos, I'm half asleep and I wrote this REALLY fast all in this hour.) -Taryn(:


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